Why My Elf is Staying on My Shelf ~ Guest post by Jen

Whether you like the idea of having a cute little elf in your home at Christmastime or you loathe that little creepy thing staring down at you, pressuring you into yet another marketing scheme, I’m sure you have heard about the elf on the shelf. That is of course unless you have been living under a rock for the past couple years.

I’m not here to persuade you to get an elf for yourself, or to tell you that yes, you are the best parent in the world because you participate in the elf on the shelf tradition. I share to explain what the elf represents in our home and what he does not.

Our family has an elf visit our home for the month of December every year. I heard about it in 2010 and thought it would be a lot of fun for my kids. This of course was before the huge elf on the shelf craze, and before I knew what I was really getting myself into. We read the book with our kids and they named him Jasper. I started out by just moving him to a different spot every night. My kids thought it was great fun and loved finding him every morning. In the next couple years the elf became extremely popular on blogs and pinterest, showcasing different ways for your elf to get into trouble or do something wildly creative. I’ll admit, being the creative person I am, I jumped on the bandwagon and our own elf, Jasper, had some pretty wild adventures. Including: roasting marshmallows, coloring in a Christmas coloring book, having a marshmallow war and going for a joyride with Barbie.

I had A LOT of fun coming up with a new adventure every night. Equally my kids loved finding what nonsense Jasper had gotten into while they slept. I did this not to show off how creative I am or how I could outdo my friends by one upping our elf adventures against theirs. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I have to say, this is the most important advice I can give you on this whole elf on the shelf craze: DO NOT do it just to keep up with "The Joneses". I hate that it has been portrayed as this. To tell you the truth, if I had not gotten an elf when we did, I probably wouldn’t now. Only because of what it has become for so many people.

I understand that some people don’t want an elf because it shows your children the elf is a spy, or it teaches your kids naughty behavior. I truly believe that in whatever way you present the elf and what it represents, is how your children will perceive it. If you show your kids he is more of a spy, they will believe that. If you show your kids that he is fun and make it out to be just that, they are going to respond accordingly.

Our elf is not a threat to our children. We have never threatened them by saying, “the elf is going to tell Santa you have been naughty!” or, “the elf is Santa’s spy to see if you have been naughty or nice.” I think of our home as a safe place for my children and would never want to jeopardize their sense of security in any way. Especially by having this creepy elf watching every move they make and tattle tailing on them every night to Santa. That would scare any child! Heck, I’d be scared! Wouldn’t you hate it if someone told you that the elf watched you sneak those extra cookies after the kids went to bed? Or that you left dirty dishes in your sink all day and because of that you would not be receiving gifts on Christmas morning?

Yes, I get caught up in all the holiday madness and at times think, do I really need to add another task to my already long list? Some nights I dread that little devil in red, smirking at me, knowing that yep, I have to think of yet another creative adventure or somewhere to move him. Some nights I wake up in the middle of the night remembering, "Dang! I forgot to move that flippin elf!"  Do I sometimes want to just say, forget it, I’ll leave him in his same spot, saying to the kids, “you probably touched the elf and he lost his magic for the next couple of days.”All in order to give myself a day off? You bet I do! In fact, this year I have not been very creative with our elf at all. He usually just moves to another spot. And guess what? That’s okay! Because, honestly, this elf is not what Christmas is. Let me repeat that. This elf is not what Christmas is.

Would my kids lose all sense of faith and joy without him? No. Is the elf the only thing we use to teach our children about Christmas? No. But in our house, he represents the SPIRIT and MAGIC of Christmas. The sense of something magical happening. Christmas is about being a child again. Having the awe and wonder about all the things happening around you. The innocence of being a child again. Believing. Whether in Santa or God. The magic of it all.  That’s what it’s all about. It’s why I do it.

Now, you are all adults and can decide what holiday traditions you want to participate in. If you want to do the elf on the shelf, great! If not, great! I’m not saying that without the elf on the shelf your children won’t have that magical experience during Christmastime. But for our family, it is one of the things that bring joy in the kid’s eyes, and mine, as they experience the magic that this season brings. And however you chose to display that is up to you. Don’t let anyone, including a little stuffed elf dressed in red; influence your decision in any way.

-Jen

Monogrammed Memories- A Christmas Tree Ornament Tutorial by Guest Author Cara

One of my most favorite memories growing up always started at the beginning of the holiday: decorating my step-mom’s house for Christmas. She is the type of woman that used to (and still does) go all out for Christmas. It always started the same way, every Saturday after Thanksgiving-by unpacking her Christmas closet… yes, closet. We were blessed to have a gorgeous home with very tall ceilings, so we always got a tree that was 9 or 10 feet tall. This, obviously, means that decorating said tree was a two, if not three person job. 

Every year, my step-mom would let my dad and I put on the lights while she unpacked the ornaments. And every year, she retold the same stories about who gave her each ornament, and when-sometimes down to the date. In my childhood years, I never understood her appreciation for her hand-made collections. And when it came time to put the ornaments on the tree, I always got the same speech: “Be careful with that one, so and so gave that to me,” with almost everything I picked up.

Now that I’m older, I have my own tree, and I am starting to understand what her mild obsession with these ornaments involve; a little bit of love, for those handmade from family and friends, a special memory, for those purchased on vacation or a trip somewhere special, and even a little place in her heart, from the ornaments given to her by relatives who are no longer with us. 

Before my biological mom passed, she made ornaments for her family and friends, and gave them away each year. In the 20 years since her passing, some of those friends and relatives have given these ornaments back to me. Since my mother died when I was so young, their value to me is increased tenfold-it’s almost like having a part of her with me each Christmas when I go to hang them on my tree.

So last year, I decided that I would carry on my mother’s DIY ornament tradition, and I set out to make a special ornament for everyone on my Christmas list. I, of course, took to Pinterest for some design inspiration, and that landed me here.

I loved the way these ornaments looked when finished, and the cool marbled effect it created. But I wanted to take it up a notch, and make the ornament personal to every family I gave it to. My solution?

Monogramming!

Monogramming is the best way to give a gift that is 100% original-it really tells the receiver that you thought about them specifically when making it. But if you’re blessed with a family large enough to fill a high school gymnasium, giving a monogrammed gift to every single person can get expensive. So rather than making one of these little babies for every person in the family, I gave one to the household, and used their last name for the monogram initial.

So here’s what you’ll need:

• Acrylic Paint
• Clear Ornament
• (you can use round or flat, I went with flat because I wanted the monogram to lie evenly)
• Sticker or Paint Pen (for monogram)

Start by dripping the lightest color paint into the top, leaning the opening of the paint lid against the inside of the ornament so you get as much on the side as possible.

Work your way from lightest to darkest, filling in the gaps around the top of the ornament. When you have covered the lip of it on the inside, cover the opening with paper or cellophane (or your fingers, just be prepared to get paint on them), and start shaking that baby. I turned this one on its side and tapped it on the table to get the paint to move where I wanted it.

This was the end result. You can continue tapping until you get more of a color combination like the original one, but I really loved the way this one looked.

Then, pick the side you like best, and add your monogram.

I highly recommend letting the excess paint that is inside drip out before you put the stopper back into the top of the ornament. I inverted mine into a Kleenex box with some paper towels in the bottom of it to catch the paint.

When it’s dry, carefully stick the metal top back into the ornament, and you have a beautiful gift under $5.00. I have already given some of these to family members we see before Christmas, and the looks on their faces when I told them I made them myself meant the world to me. This project is also easy enough to let the kiddos get involved! My 3 year old had a blast “helping” mommy swirl the paint around.

Now, when they hang this ornament on their tree each year, I know that they will think of me.
And isn’t that what this season is all about?

1,000 thanks to Jessica for letting me share this with you all! If you feel so inclined, feel free to visit me more often over at my blog (www.things-that-glitter.blogspot.com).

I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas and a fantastic New Year!

-Cara

Keeping the Christ in Christmas: Why "Happy Holidays" Doesn't Bother Me

I was reading something the other day from a friend of mine. She was upset because her child's school Christmas party was being labeled a "holiday" party. I hear similar grievances every year. Christmas is becoming too commercial. Society is taking the "Christ" out of "Christmas". No one remembers the reason for the season.

As a woman of faith, I respectfully disagree.

I remember as a child, one of my favorite parts of Christmastime was singing in our school recital. I actually have vivid memories of the gym, the way the stage was set up, what I wore. Yes, I was that excited about singing. But I digress. One thing I remember is that we sang every type of song. We sang songs about Christmas. We sang songs about Hanukkah. We sang songs about Kwanzaa. We sang in Spanish and in French and in English. We also learned about some of the traditions behind each of these. And it was an awesome, beautiful, amazing thing.

Last night I got to witness a similar thing at my child's "winter play". They sang songs referencing all winter holidays. It was a touching moment for me to see these children coming together, celebrating the season in a spirit of unity, love and joy.

And truly, isn't that what this season, and Christmas in particular, is supposed to really be about? Love, Tolerance. Acceptance. Joy. Redemption. Charity.

I celebrate Christmas in my home. We try to keep the spirit of Jesus Christ and the celebration of His birth at the center of our home. We teach our children to do likewise. No one else can take the Christ out of our Christmas, only we can do that. The fact that I can worship freely in my home, and raise my children in the church of my choosing, is a gift I cherish with all my heart. How hypocritical would I be if I did not respect that privilege in others?

So calling it a "winter party" doesn't bother me. Saying "happy holidays" does not offend me. And it's not because I have forgotten Christmas. And it's not because I am afraid I will offend someone by acknowledging my Christian status. Rather, it is because I respect that my traditions are not everyone's traditions. My faith is not everyone's faith. But I believe that everyone is a child of God. Everyone is my spiritual brother or sister. And so whether they celebrate Christmas or Kwanzaa or Hanukkah or commercialism, my job is simply to love them.

In my mind, that is how I keep Christ in Christmas.

So to everyone I say, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Holidays, Happy Kwanzaa, Season's Greetings and Merry Christmas. I hope that the love and peace of this season will bless us all with a greater capacity to love one another and cultivate a spirit of unity. Peace on Earth. Goodwill to men.

How to have a very Merry Christmas:

Christmas is upon us.

Are your palms sweaty? Did your pulse quicken?  Because I know I'm pretty delirious- and it's NOT because Santa's coming to town.

Gone are the days when sugar plums danced in my head.  The days when I made green and red construction paper "countdown chains" and sang all the annoying extra lyrics to Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer at the top of my lungs until my parents went legally deaf.

Now it's all about number crunching- scheduling- and the looming EXPECTATIONS.

I'm not 100% sold that our parent's generation or their parent's generation had quite the same level of holiday pressure many of us are facing today.  Mom-bloggers and new reporters alike are finding themselves more and more drawn to the topic of minimizing the holiday-buzz, going "back to the basics", and the ever-popular "true meaning" of the holiday spirit.

We talk the talk: facebook rants, head-shaking at Christmas store displays in October, and telling our friends that we don't do a lot of presents for Christmas... but how many of us are actually walking the walk?

Before you hang your head in guilt- let me give you a little pat on the back.  You're probably doing the best you can.  It's not easy in the world of Mommy-wars/Pinterest show-offs/and facebook brags.  There's a lot of amazingly awesome spectacular ideas out there.  "New" family traditions (*cough* elf on the shelf *cough*) around every corner.  There's no way you can do it all.  You just...can't.

It becomes really easy really quick to start to absolutely hate "the most wonderful time of the year".

So before you bah-humbug it all and thrown in the as-seen-on-Pinterest-personalized-cross-stitched-holiday-themed- towel...

Here are my TOP TEN WAYS TO *let yourself* ENJOY THE HOLIDAYS.

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1.) Pick and Choose.

When my husband and I got married (a late November wedding), Christmas was almost immediate.  And naturally, we found ourselves in conversation about our various family traditions and Christmas memories from over the years.  The next big question: what are OUR family traditions going to be?

Whether you're married or not- this is a question everyone is eventually faced with.  What parts of Christmas do I want to make a priority each year?  Whatever you decide needs to be a personal decision, and you should stick with it! (...that's the tough part about traditions- you've got to keep going!) But don't stress over the finality of it all- you can always introduce a *new* Christmas tradition later. ;)

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2.) Reflect.
Most children look forward to the holidays. (I mean- what ISN'T exciting about a day of goodies, laughter, and overall happiness?)  For some reason- over time that magic may seem to flicker and fade.  I have been witness to the magic of having children- and I have been amazed at the precious re-kindling I have felt as I experience the joy of the holidays through the eyes of a little one.

The feeling is almost intoxicating- and I'm sure many parents can relate when I say I wanted to make Christmas for my sons the BEST CHRISTMAS EVER! But before I found myself neck-deep in toy-debt I took a minute to remember my own favorite Christmas memories.  Making Christmas goodies with my family, pulling out ornaments on our advent calendar, making Christmas crafts... these were the things I remembered.  And those are the things I need to make a priority now.

3.) Ditch the criticism.

I don't know anyone who wants to be considered materialistic.  I also don't know anyone who can't understand why someone may be excited about getting a gift.  (and if they claim so- they are lying.)  While getting *stuff* isn't a healthy main-focus for anyone- I want to take a step back and remind you of this little old book.

[Learn more about Love Languages here.]

Receiving and giving gifts is a legitimate love language people.  Not any more or less valid than the others.  Just like it wouldn't be healthy to focus on purely physical touch or only on words of affirmation- I can understand how only caring about gifts could be cause for concern.  But I think we can also agree that once or twice a year (I love birthdays!) is not completely unreasonable for some people to be excited about receiving gifts!  It feels good to know someone was thinking about you- so stop feeling guilty for counting those presents under the tree.  You get a free-pass.  Just don't shove your 11 presents in the face of cousin Tilda's 4.


4.) Know when to say NO.

Many of us can relate to the concept of a hectic holiday schedule. It's like my calendar throws-up between the months of October and January.  Holiday parties, family get-togethers, catching up with friends... it doesn't take much for some of us to get a little overwhelmed.  The holidays tend to have a sense of nostalgia and sentiment unique from the rest of the year.  And that can remind us of what who is most important.  Unfortunately, that also puts a fire under our butts to hurry and spend as much time as humanly possible with those people.

Something to remind yourself of this Christmas- those people aren't going to be any less important in January...February... or June.  There may be people traveling into town exclusively for the holidays- make them a priority and save visiting with your local friends and family for the rest of the year.  If you don't take the time to relax and enjoy the holidays- you could literally make yourself sick- and then you won't have any choice but to sit at home and relax (miserably) because no one is going to want to hang-out with your snot-nosed face.  (Sorry- that was mean...)

5.)  Remember those who aren't with us- and those they left behind.
It's heartbreaking to think that during this season of joy and wonder- suicide rates are actually on the rise.  I can't think of anything worse in this life than losing a loved-one and seeing everyone around you happy and celebrating with their loved ones can be a lot like rubbing salt in a fresh wound.  Even losses years-decades old can be brought fresh to the surface with the memories embedded deeply in this magical season.

When you're in pain- it can be easy to let that pain overtake you- and any joy and laughter can seem unattainable.  It's important to let yourself feel the peace that can come with Christmas and use that peace to uplift yourself and those around you.

Find ways to keep your loved ones alive in our hearts and memories.  My father in law passed-away just before I met my husband and while I never met him- I can definitely feel his spirit in the way my husband and his family talk about him and celebrate his memory.  My father in law's birthday is December 4th so my husband and I have made it a tradition to put our tree up on that day.  It's something simple- but it's also something special and meaningful that keeps him alive in our hearts and home.

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Also, remember that not all loss is through death.  Individuals who have faced divorce, separation, military deployment, addictions and other struggles can also feel depressed and alone this time of year.  Make it a point to recognize and remember these people.  Invite them to low-key but meaningful events and include them in activities like caroling or cookie drop-offs.  These little things can sometimes mean the world to someone who feels like the world is against them.

6.) Indulge
I can't tell you how many people tell me every year how much weight they expect to gain over the holidays- and how they are dreading the consequences.  To them, I say- stop.  Just stop.  Of course, you shouldn't stuff yourself silly every day for two months.... but two or three big Christmas meals won't make you gain 50 pounds.

Plan ahead and be responsible.  If there are only two of you in your house- you probably don't need a gallon of eggnog in your fridge at all times.  Be reasonable and have things in moderation- but when you have them ENJOY THEM.  Don't spend the entire feast complaining and dreading- let yourself taste every pepperminty chocolate-dipped piece of heaven you can get your hands on... because you deserve it!

Just stop when you're full.

7.) Minimize expenses

There are about a thousand different budgeting ideas on the web- but for some reason, Christmas always seems exempt from reason when it comes to your bank account and your heartstrings suddenly have full control over your wallet.

Look up some Christmas-budgeting ideas via sites like Pinterest and come up with a plan that works for you so those holiday bills don't sneak up on you unexpectedly.  Few things can cause stress like money troubles- don't invite them to your home this Christmas by getting carried-away with gifts, parties, decorations, and dinners.  Keep it simple and classy.  Minimalism is in style! ;)

8.) Slow down and get enough sleep

Hustle and Bustle are synonymous with the holiday season.  I admit my husband and I actually enjoy going to the mall during the Christmas season just to let ourselves get caught up in the rush for a little while.  There's something exciting about it.  Although... we try to have our shopping 100% done by that point so we can just enjoy the atmosphere without actually rushing around ourselves.

It can be fun to get caught-up in the excitement... but not when you don't have any other option and you're pressed for time in finding that "perfect" gift for a steal of a price.  Along with knowing when to say no- you need to make it a point to slow down and take things easy.  Running on high for days on end with minimal sleep is not a recommended means of being your happiest most enjoyable self.  (Can I get an "Amen!" moms?)

Instead- budget your time with a full-nights worth of rest.  There will be a few nights where you may stay up late to look at Christmas lights or visit at a work party- but don't make them a daily habit or you'll wear yourself thin and end up falling asleep in the recliner in the living room while everyone else is gleefully tearing wrapping paper to shreds.


9.) Connect and Pray

For many of us- there really is a truer-deeper meaning to Christmas- and without recognizing it we wouldn't be able to honestly enjoy it in our heart of hearts.  It's important to recognize our spiritual well-being during this beautifully touching time of year.

Christmas is about love, joy, and peace.  You should seek out people and things that accentuate those feelings and avoid those that don't.  There's no need to flaunt your higher-purpose reason for the season- it should be a sacred, personal experience.  However, while you don't want to come off holier-than-thou, you also shouldn't be afraid to share your spiritual experiences with friends and family.  Invite neighbors to service projects, sing Christmas carols at a nursing home, donate an evening of your time or some cans to a homeless shelter or soup kitchen.  Joy in good deeds is a universal experience regardless of religion or spiritual beliefs.

Don't be afraid to offend- and even more importantly... don't be offended.  

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10.)  Don't expect miracles.

I remember one year being incredibly disappointed in my Christmas presents.  I was a teenager after all- so I'm not sure anything short of a million dollars would have impressed me- but it was still a bummer feeling.

We spend a month working ourselves up for one day each year.  With all the hype- there's bound to be some let-down.  Try to prep yourself beforehand.  Lower your expectations and allow yourself to be surprised and happy with the little things.

Let yourself be amazed and remember the magic.

Have a very Merry Christmas!