How to have a very Merry Christmas:

Christmas is upon us.

Are your palms sweaty? Did your pulse quicken?  Because I know I'm pretty delirious- and it's NOT because Santa's coming to town.

Gone are the days when sugar plums danced in my head.  The days when I made green and red construction paper "countdown chains" and sang all the annoying extra lyrics to Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer at the top of my lungs until my parents went legally deaf.

Now it's all about number crunching- scheduling- and the looming EXPECTATIONS.

I'm not 100% sold that our parent's generation or their parent's generation had quite the same level of holiday pressure many of us are facing today.  Mom-bloggers and new reporters alike are finding themselves more and more drawn to the topic of minimizing the holiday-buzz, going "back to the basics", and the ever-popular "true meaning" of the holiday spirit.

We talk the talk: facebook rants, head-shaking at Christmas store displays in October, and telling our friends that we don't do a lot of presents for Christmas... but how many of us are actually walking the walk?

Before you hang your head in guilt- let me give you a little pat on the back.  You're probably doing the best you can.  It's not easy in the world of Mommy-wars/Pinterest show-offs/and facebook brags.  There's a lot of amazingly awesome spectacular ideas out there.  "New" family traditions (*cough* elf on the shelf *cough*) around every corner.  There's no way you can do it all.  You just...can't.

It becomes really easy really quick to start to absolutely hate "the most wonderful time of the year".

So before you bah-humbug it all and thrown in the as-seen-on-Pinterest-personalized-cross-stitched-holiday-themed- towel...

Here are my TOP TEN WAYS TO *let yourself* ENJOY THE HOLIDAYS.

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1.) Pick and Choose.

When my husband and I got married (a late November wedding), Christmas was almost immediate.  And naturally, we found ourselves in conversation about our various family traditions and Christmas memories from over the years.  The next big question: what are OUR family traditions going to be?

Whether you're married or not- this is a question everyone is eventually faced with.  What parts of Christmas do I want to make a priority each year?  Whatever you decide needs to be a personal decision, and you should stick with it! (...that's the tough part about traditions- you've got to keep going!) But don't stress over the finality of it all- you can always introduce a *new* Christmas tradition later. ;)

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2.) Reflect.
Most children look forward to the holidays. (I mean- what ISN'T exciting about a day of goodies, laughter, and overall happiness?)  For some reason- over time that magic may seem to flicker and fade.  I have been witness to the magic of having children- and I have been amazed at the precious re-kindling I have felt as I experience the joy of the holidays through the eyes of a little one.

The feeling is almost intoxicating- and I'm sure many parents can relate when I say I wanted to make Christmas for my sons the BEST CHRISTMAS EVER! But before I found myself neck-deep in toy-debt I took a minute to remember my own favorite Christmas memories.  Making Christmas goodies with my family, pulling out ornaments on our advent calendar, making Christmas crafts... these were the things I remembered.  And those are the things I need to make a priority now.

3.) Ditch the criticism.

I don't know anyone who wants to be considered materialistic.  I also don't know anyone who can't understand why someone may be excited about getting a gift.  (and if they claim so- they are lying.)  While getting *stuff* isn't a healthy main-focus for anyone- I want to take a step back and remind you of this little old book.

[Learn more about Love Languages here.]

Receiving and giving gifts is a legitimate love language people.  Not any more or less valid than the others.  Just like it wouldn't be healthy to focus on purely physical touch or only on words of affirmation- I can understand how only caring about gifts could be cause for concern.  But I think we can also agree that once or twice a year (I love birthdays!) is not completely unreasonable for some people to be excited about receiving gifts!  It feels good to know someone was thinking about you- so stop feeling guilty for counting those presents under the tree.  You get a free-pass.  Just don't shove your 11 presents in the face of cousin Tilda's 4.


4.) Know when to say NO.

Many of us can relate to the concept of a hectic holiday schedule. It's like my calendar throws-up between the months of October and January.  Holiday parties, family get-togethers, catching up with friends... it doesn't take much for some of us to get a little overwhelmed.  The holidays tend to have a sense of nostalgia and sentiment unique from the rest of the year.  And that can remind us of what who is most important.  Unfortunately, that also puts a fire under our butts to hurry and spend as much time as humanly possible with those people.

Something to remind yourself of this Christmas- those people aren't going to be any less important in January...February... or June.  There may be people traveling into town exclusively for the holidays- make them a priority and save visiting with your local friends and family for the rest of the year.  If you don't take the time to relax and enjoy the holidays- you could literally make yourself sick- and then you won't have any choice but to sit at home and relax (miserably) because no one is going to want to hang-out with your snot-nosed face.  (Sorry- that was mean...)

5.)  Remember those who aren't with us- and those they left behind.
It's heartbreaking to think that during this season of joy and wonder- suicide rates are actually on the rise.  I can't think of anything worse in this life than losing a loved-one and seeing everyone around you happy and celebrating with their loved ones can be a lot like rubbing salt in a fresh wound.  Even losses years-decades old can be brought fresh to the surface with the memories embedded deeply in this magical season.

When you're in pain- it can be easy to let that pain overtake you- and any joy and laughter can seem unattainable.  It's important to let yourself feel the peace that can come with Christmas and use that peace to uplift yourself and those around you.

Find ways to keep your loved ones alive in our hearts and memories.  My father in law passed-away just before I met my husband and while I never met him- I can definitely feel his spirit in the way my husband and his family talk about him and celebrate his memory.  My father in law's birthday is December 4th so my husband and I have made it a tradition to put our tree up on that day.  It's something simple- but it's also something special and meaningful that keeps him alive in our hearts and home.

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Also, remember that not all loss is through death.  Individuals who have faced divorce, separation, military deployment, addictions and other struggles can also feel depressed and alone this time of year.  Make it a point to recognize and remember these people.  Invite them to low-key but meaningful events and include them in activities like caroling or cookie drop-offs.  These little things can sometimes mean the world to someone who feels like the world is against them.

6.) Indulge
I can't tell you how many people tell me every year how much weight they expect to gain over the holidays- and how they are dreading the consequences.  To them, I say- stop.  Just stop.  Of course, you shouldn't stuff yourself silly every day for two months.... but two or three big Christmas meals won't make you gain 50 pounds.

Plan ahead and be responsible.  If there are only two of you in your house- you probably don't need a gallon of eggnog in your fridge at all times.  Be reasonable and have things in moderation- but when you have them ENJOY THEM.  Don't spend the entire feast complaining and dreading- let yourself taste every pepperminty chocolate-dipped piece of heaven you can get your hands on... because you deserve it!

Just stop when you're full.

7.) Minimize expenses

There are about a thousand different budgeting ideas on the web- but for some reason, Christmas always seems exempt from reason when it comes to your bank account and your heartstrings suddenly have full control over your wallet.

Look up some Christmas-budgeting ideas via sites like Pinterest and come up with a plan that works for you so those holiday bills don't sneak up on you unexpectedly.  Few things can cause stress like money troubles- don't invite them to your home this Christmas by getting carried-away with gifts, parties, decorations, and dinners.  Keep it simple and classy.  Minimalism is in style! ;)

8.) Slow down and get enough sleep

Hustle and Bustle are synonymous with the holiday season.  I admit my husband and I actually enjoy going to the mall during the Christmas season just to let ourselves get caught up in the rush for a little while.  There's something exciting about it.  Although... we try to have our shopping 100% done by that point so we can just enjoy the atmosphere without actually rushing around ourselves.

It can be fun to get caught-up in the excitement... but not when you don't have any other option and you're pressed for time in finding that "perfect" gift for a steal of a price.  Along with knowing when to say no- you need to make it a point to slow down and take things easy.  Running on high for days on end with minimal sleep is not a recommended means of being your happiest most enjoyable self.  (Can I get an "Amen!" moms?)

Instead- budget your time with a full-nights worth of rest.  There will be a few nights where you may stay up late to look at Christmas lights or visit at a work party- but don't make them a daily habit or you'll wear yourself thin and end up falling asleep in the recliner in the living room while everyone else is gleefully tearing wrapping paper to shreds.


9.) Connect and Pray

For many of us- there really is a truer-deeper meaning to Christmas- and without recognizing it we wouldn't be able to honestly enjoy it in our heart of hearts.  It's important to recognize our spiritual well-being during this beautifully touching time of year.

Christmas is about love, joy, and peace.  You should seek out people and things that accentuate those feelings and avoid those that don't.  There's no need to flaunt your higher-purpose reason for the season- it should be a sacred, personal experience.  However, while you don't want to come off holier-than-thou, you also shouldn't be afraid to share your spiritual experiences with friends and family.  Invite neighbors to service projects, sing Christmas carols at a nursing home, donate an evening of your time or some cans to a homeless shelter or soup kitchen.  Joy in good deeds is a universal experience regardless of religion or spiritual beliefs.

Don't be afraid to offend- and even more importantly... don't be offended.  

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10.)  Don't expect miracles.

I remember one year being incredibly disappointed in my Christmas presents.  I was a teenager after all- so I'm not sure anything short of a million dollars would have impressed me- but it was still a bummer feeling.

We spend a month working ourselves up for one day each year.  With all the hype- there's bound to be some let-down.  Try to prep yourself beforehand.  Lower your expectations and allow yourself to be surprised and happy with the little things.

Let yourself be amazed and remember the magic.

Have a very Merry Christmas!