Perspective

I once read that if we knew everyone's story we wouldn't hate anyone. That thought was so interesting to me. I love reading books or seeing movies that explore the "villain" and their perspective- and experiencing my emotions changing with the discovery of a new view-point.

When I first created To Each Their Own four years ago, it was my dream to create a community where we had the opportunity to explore new outlooks and learn how to love one another despite our differences. I wanted to have a place where women could find themselves growing because of our joined experiences and open hearts.

With the re-launch of To Each Their Own, it was very important to me to gather a collection of authors with a wide range of personal values and beliefs.   I don't agree with all of them- and that was how I wanted it to be.  I wanted to present an opportunity that would expand our reader's perspectives, and teach us to love unconditionally through a sisterhood we would build together.  I wanted all of you to see pieces of yourselves in all of us.  To accomplish that, I sought out women who would be brave enough to share their hearts, and pursue sincere transparency in their writings.  I sought women who understood that we don’t have to agree with someone to love them.  This was not easy.  

It is absolutely terrifying in today’s world to put your heart on the virtual platter of the internet, when we live in a world of vultures waiting for a chance to pick you apart. And unfortunately, sometimes when we are feeling vulnerable, we find ourselves becoming the vultures ourselves. Quick to be offended, slow to forgive. I am human, and I am guilty.

Imagine if every time you disagreed with something, instead of following your natural instinct & becoming offended, you softened your heart and genuinely tried to understand why someone else would agree with it?  I think sometimes that idea can be really scary, for a number of reasons, but mainly because it’s incredibly uncomfortable.  Especially when our own lens is very secure, and we’re SURE everyone else would agree with us if only they had our experiences. 

And maybe they would...but growth is personal, and has to happen organically to be sustained.  No one else has our exact experiences- they can’t! We can’t force anyone to conform to our viewpoint, because then it wouldn’t truly be their own.  We can only offer an opportunity.  Everyone has the opportunity to make their own choices- and in this community we honor that.  We have the courage to set our personal pride aside, and respect one another, in the way we would like to be respected; and expect nothing in return.

It is 100% OK to not agree.  You can understand someone’s perspective and still remain strong in your own. Choose to be comfortable with your truth, and to not find yourself feeling threatened by another's good intentions, even when they clash with your own.

T.E.T.O. is not a blog with a political or religious agenda.  There is no hidden slant.  Our authors have their personal opinions, and their independent values- which they are encouraged to openly share with conscious effort to uplift and inspire. They are asked to be transparent, to provide an honest source. 

We welcome open-dialogue!  That is the entire purpose of the conversation lounge! It is a community made of differences- and women who honor and respect those differences. It is where we share our stories, and grow from them. 

There isn’t a single person in this world who has nothing to teach us.

The only guideline is that we remain respectful and uplifting, and have the humility to readjust when we veer from that path.  If you don’t feel your voice is represented, please speak!  We need your story. 

It is such a good feeling when others are praising and agreeing with you, but there is something incredibly satisfying about a discussion where individuals express a difference of opinion civilly and lovingly.  It is a testament that we can transcend into something much more meaningful, and much bigger than ourselves.  It's a sign of growth and maturity that we as women should strive for when lifting each other up.

That is my dream for this blog, and this community.