The Pirate-Princess-Ninja… behind this Mom

I know the title of my post might make you wonder if I am suffering from some sort of multi-personality disorder. The truth is, I have a vivid imagination, enjoy indulging in my children’s whimsical fantasies, and ultimately, like any new species (a.k.a. “newbie” Mom) desperately trying to survive, have now adapted to my somewhat new matriarchal role.

Becoming a mom has allowed me to put on many different “hats”. Some days, (per the request of my daughter) I am a princess having picnics and tea parties, other days I am cleaning my what appears-to-have-been-hit-by-a-hurricane house in super speed like a flippin’ ninja, and some days I’m just my nerdy old self, laughing at my own jokes way harder than I should be.

Then there are weeks like this one, when my BBH (Beach Babe Husband) asked my three-year old daughter, (Mini-me) if she wants to be a pirate or a princess. She boldly declared she wants to be a pirate…I wonder where she gets these crazy ideas? Oh wait…

I guess I like pirates, too.

Evidently, I'm a weird mom and I will embarrass my kids.

 I know in the years to come, my little girls (like me), will want to become many different things.  And I think that’s fabulous. That’s what life is about- to dream, to succeed, to sometimes fall, to grow from it all and then, to repeat. The most important thing is that they have the desire to grow and to develop into the best person they can be.

When I was a little girl, I remember always wanting to be very successful in whatever vocation I chose. While other little girls were playing “house” and being the “mom”, I was pretending to be a teacher or Miss America or sometimes even a doctor who just found a cure for cancer (true story). For many years I equated a successful life with those who were successful in their profession…outside of the home. I never thought too much about the idea of being a stay-at-home mom and honestly, I couldn't even imagine not “using” the education I had worked so hard to attain and to ever settle for a “less-than-desirable-or glamorous” job.  And this is where the school of life taught me a lesson or two.

Up until well into my mid-twenties, the life that I had planned for myself was going pretty well. I had graduated from college, married BBH, and was an ambitious, working professional. Then some unexpected difficulties came along. One of these trials was not being able to have children when I expected to have them. I immediately realized that just because we want something bad enough, doesn't mean it happens when we desire or think it should happen.  It was the first time I wasn't able to achieve something I had set out to have. I had no control over the situation and believe me, lack of control is not something I deal well with…or a least dealt well with.

It was during these difficult and sometimes even foggy years, I lost focus and had a hard time understanding who I was and what I really wanted out of life. Paradoxically enough, it was also the time I learned the most about myself. I learned the importance of growing and blooming where ever one is planted, no matter what the circumstances. I learned that when we focus on ourselves and our problems, we can become more self-absorbed and our problems can become magnified…but that focusing on others and helping them, brings true joy. Ultimately, I learned that success comes in many different ways.

The first time I became a mom and the nurse placed our darling Mini-me in my arms, I had a very different perspective of what success truly was. Becoming a mom and then eventually being able to stay at home with my girls helped me see things in a different light. I realized that motherhood adds a new dimension to who I am. It doesn't take away from my dreams and goals, it further illuminates them. It doesn't mean I gave up on my profession or my ambitions, it means I yearn to be an even better person with stronger ambitions and continuously desire to use my profession to enhance my children’s lives and our home. It doesn't mean I am no longer the person I was before motherhood, it means I crave for opportunities to enrich my life in ways that will help me develop into the person I want to be for myself and for my children.

And while I don’t receive the worldly accolades or compliments that I thoroughly enjoyed receiving in my former life, my rewards come in the tender moments when my mind slows down, and I can enjoy the simple and yet, in-depth moments that motherhood has to offer. 

Every night when I rock My-girl at bedtime and breathe in her sweet smelling, freshly washed hair or when Mini-me snuggles next to me, holds my hands, and leans her head against my shoulder, I receive the best rewards I could ever know. 

And someday, when the years have come and gone, I will look back at my life and remember the precious and forever-etched-in-my-mind memories of the giggles echoing through our home, their sweet voices saying “One more time, mommy!” as I swing them through the air, and the walls plastered with their smudged fingerprints. 

And for this mommy, those sweet memories are worth a thousand times more than any framed university degree or any professional award I will ever receive.  

Me, My-girl and Mini-me