So, Tell Me About Yourself

August, 2009. It was the first day of Business Communications class. I had heard the class was an easy "A" and was fairly relaxed. My professor walked in the door, introduced herself, and went over her expectations for the semester. After a few minutes, my professor looked straight at me and said, “So, tell me about yourself.” Uh-oh.

I froze. My mind was completely blank. Surely I knew enough about myself to answer such a simple question? But the answer wasn't readily there. I sat quietly for what felt like an eternity. I thought to myself, "Who am I? How do I introduce myself?"

I told her my name, my major, and that I was a varsity lightweight rower. But the answer felt somewhat generic and hollow. I should have been able to say something more profound... more interesting. There was an awkward moment where I felt I should add more. But I had no idea what to say. To fill the void I asked, “What else would you like to know?”

My professor smiled and said, “If I do my job this semester, you will no longer need to ask me that.” She was right.

One of the first skills I learned in that class was how to handle introducing myself in many different environments and circumstances. No longer did I feel that sense of dread when someone uttered the phrase, "So, tell me about yourself." I was given a useful tool to guide my responses, and I relished it. In the business world, this tool is often referred to as your “Elevator Pitch”.

An elevator pitch can be described as a 30 second response to any situation which requires an introduction. Every business student is taught that an effective elevator pitch can make or break a future job prospect, promotion, sale, or valuable relationship. The most effective introduction will not only address who you are, but will also explain why a person should be interested in what you have to say. It will highlight your strengths and give your audience just enough interest to warrant further conversation and a deepening of the relationship. With practice, a carefully crafted elevator pitch becomes second nature and is a useful tool in a variety of circumstances.

In life, we are not often afforded an extended period of time to make an impression and introduce ourselves. First impressions begin to settle almost immediately upon meeting someone. Life is busy. The opportunity to make a connection may be as short as an elevator ride from the first floor to the fourth, if not shorter. We must, therefore, be able to introduce ourselves fully and succinctly within the limited time we have available to us.

I wasn't initially sure how to frame my introduction to you today. I didn't know what I wanted to say or how I wanted to say it. I had no idea where to start. Then, it hit me!

While an introduction written for a blog is very different from an introduction given in person, I feel there is a lot of applicability in utilizing this handy tool my professor gave me almost a decade ago...

Without further delay, I give you my "Elevator Pitch":

My name is Rosemary. I met the love of my life in 2007. We were married in 2012 and life has since carried us in directions we could not have fathomed when we first met. I’m currently a full-time stay at home mother to two beautiful little girls, who are truly my world. When I am not devoting myself to the needs of my family, I am active in my church - running the nursery program and teaching Sunday preschool classes. I have a broad range of interests. These include music, the arts, reading, outdoor adventuring, fitness, history, economics, food, DIY projects, traveling, college football (O-H!), and whatever random tidbit happens to catch my fancy on a particular day. I am a student of life and seek to continue learning about myself and others through shared and differing thoughts, experiences, struggles and successes. I am truly honored to be a regular contributor to this blog, To Each Their Own. I sincerely hope that, as we begin this journey together, we might form a strong and beautiful community; a community which thrives on openness, acceptance and diversity of thought and experience.


Thank you for reading this post and being a part of our community! I can't wait to see where this blog takes us!

My Otherness

Hello there. Now I’m a bit of a newbie when it comes to blogging, so please pardon any of the awkwardness that may follow. I’m Melissa, a 27-year-old Central Florida native and crazy cat lady who spends WAY too much time watching HGTV. I have always struggled a bit to define myself, although as the years go by I am finding it less and less of a necessity. (Call it the wisdom of age.)

Now, if I am being perfectly honest I was a little reluctant to write for T.E.T.O., especially after taking a look at the other contributors. I wasn’t sure I would exactly fit in. I have worked very hard in my life to surround myself with people that fit the labels placed on me. I’m not sure if this was out of a desire to seek comfort or if it was solely out of fear… probably both. Even now, as an adult, I still let my fear and past experiences keep me from living a life that is wholly true to myself. 

One part of my identity that has caused me a great amount shame and fear over the course of my years is my sexual orientation. I am Bisexual. This was something I have always known, even before elementary school, but wasn’t ready to admit to myself until around high school. Even then, I treated it as a novelty because that is how I saw it portrayed in the world around me. My sexual identity seemed other, out of place, and if I tried to embrace it as anything real I worried about a backlash. So I dated boys. This was not to say I didn’t care for them, far from it in fact, but there always seemed to be something missing. 

I remember a weekend trip to Disney World with my Mom, my Nana, and one of my best friends. We stayed at the Grand Floridian and it just happened to be the first weekend in June. Now if you have ever been to Walt Disney World the first weekend of June you may remember the sea of red shirts and rainbows announcing it to be the annual Gay Days meet-up. We had been frequent Disney-goers in my childhood so this was far from our first time at Gay Days, although it had never been anything more than coincidence or just enjoying the festive atmosphere that always seemed to accompany that weekend. Well, anyways, the friend and I after a long day at the parks and with the adults back at the room decided to enjoy a nice evening swim. In an entirely un-serious manner, at one point we kissed. I know I was never anything more than a friend to her, but in that moment something felt so very right. Kissing a beautiful girl in the hotel pool during Gay Days at Disney just felt right. 

One of my first shows with the Rich Weirdoes.

That was when I started to take my still-shaky identity more seriously. It was around college that I began to find my place. Between acting in/directing The Vagina Monologues at Stetson, getting a job at Disney and finding myself amongst queer peers, and eventually getting up the courage to join The Rich Weirdoes (a Rocky Horror shadow cast) I began to meet others who made it okay to be queer. I was no longer other, and that meant the world to me. I remember evenings spent dancing or watching friends perform their drag at Pulse nightclub and the butterflies in my stomach when I went with my first girlfriend to see The Hunger Games on opening night. 

As time goes on and I shift away from the lifestyle that seems to fit so well with what I wanted to be I find myself questioning again, only this time it is not my sexual orientation so much as it is my identification with the community I once belonged to. I don’t drink. I don’t smoke. I’m not a great dancer. Loud noises and crowded spaces make me incredibly anxious. My desire to participate is overwhelmingly trumped by my desire for comfort, and so once again I feel my otherness taking over. Part of it also comes from fear, although I am more willing to push through the fear than the discomfort because I know fear is something that doesn’t affect only myself. The fear comes from memories of nasty looks while I held my girlfriend’s hand in public, it comes from being run off the road and screamed at to “Go to hell you f***ing f**got!”, it comes from the emptiness in my gut when I think of the events of June 12th and waking up that morning praying that my friends weren’t dead. 

I am not trying to bring these events up to be divisive, but in the hope that someone who has never experienced this particular type of fear can be a little more understanding of why “coming out” is such a big deal for those on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum and why it is a choice every day to simply be yourself. I bring these up because it is difficult for me to embrace that part of my identity when I don’t feel like a part of the community in the way that I used to. I know there is not just one correct way to be queer, but every day is a struggle to remind myself of that very fact and to live truthfully. 

       I have always been a fan of the Bard so I will leave you all with this fitting quotation as I am running late for work and in desperate need to wrap things up.

“This above all: to thine own self be true”  Hamlet, Act-I, Scene-III

Finally, Eventually

Remember that time I quit my job and started my own “LuLaRoe Boutique” because I was finally pregnant with baby #3, and I was finally going to get to stay home with my little ones, and I was finally figuring out who I was?

Funny word “finally”…there doesn’t seem to be a whole lot of finality in this life. 

One year later and it turns out I’m not a lot of the things I thought I was going to be 365 days ago. 

I didn’t get my third baby like I had planned.  Being a direct-sales clothing retailer was not my forever home. And while I am home with my little ones for the time being- I only have a faint idea of who I am. 

I began To Each Their Own (T.E.T.O.), a blog on life and womanhood, in 2013 with five other (amazing) women.  I was very different then too.  Teaching middle school science was a huge part of my life and identity.  I had just given birth to my second boy- and after the summer was over I was juggling the working-mom thing.  I thought it would be a great idea to have a blog where women with different perspectives on life- but eventually life got in the way as life often does and put it on the back-burner for “someday”. 

Recently, as I was closing out my LuLaRoe boutique, my heart ached and I began to feel that familiar feeling- like I was quitting.  I knew it had been the right choice to join LuLaRoe at the time, and I knew it was the right choice to leave now- but it made me sad to think of losing the community that had grown in my group, and all the connections I had made. I wasn’t going to be the “LuLaRoe lady” anymore.  Just like I wasn’t a “teacher” anymore. I wasn’t a lot of things anymore. My life suddenly felt full of finalities, full of endings.

Then for some reason- I had the thought… what if I started blogging again?  I didn’t know what I would say, or who I would find to write with me.  But I had always planned to come back to T.E.T.O. one day, so why not today? I contacted the original authors to see if any of them were in a position where they could commit to writing, and while a few of them agreed to share some guest posts with us- no one was able to join the relaunch full-time.  Undeterred, I started scrolling through my Facebook friend’s list, and I reached out to four women who, to me, represent different kinds of strength and beauty that I knew would be an asset to our community.  I was thrilled to get a “yes” from all of them- and to find a referral for our sixth and final author, who also joined-in enthusiastically. 

A new chapter.

Right now, my life is in a transitional stage. Like new construction beginning after demolition, new growth after a forest fire, a new life with potential, hope, and undetermined possibilities. Old scars are healing and I’m working on figuring out how this “life” thing works again, and who I am for the first time.  

I'm Jessica Vergara. I am a 27 year old white Floridian woman who is married with two boys ages 3 & 5. I have a degree in Elementary Education, and a passion for writing and uplifting others. I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and I am currently exploring a career in graphic design with an Etsy Shop called Conversation Design. 

I’m the mom who wears workout clothes in the parent pick-up line instead of pajamas so you think I’m practical and hardworking instead of just tired. Who feels like super-mom when I make chocolate chip pancakes instead of regular pancakes, but feels guilty for not reading bedtime stories the way I “should”, and the way I want to. Who stares at my little ones sleeping & kneels on the floor beside them with tear-filled eyes, and prays to God to protect them.

I’m the wife who after 8 years of marriage is still struggling to figure out how to let down walls and be the woman my husband sees; to be slow to anger and quick to forgive.  Who smacks my husband’s butt in the grocery store and pretends to be a hardcore rapper on long car drives to make him laugh.  Who sometimes holds his one hand in both of mine just to make sure he’s really there.

I’m the friend who worries if I’m doing enough.  Who sometimes over-shares & loves when you over-share back. Who loves going to the movie theater, getting ice-cream, and talking late into the night about anything and everything.  Who whispers sarcastic jokes to you when no one else is listening, but still takes things seriously.  Who easily gets my feelings hurt, and worries after our conversations if I said too much, and has to message you to make sure everything is still ok. 

I’m the daughter who shows up uninvited to her parent’s house, opens the door without knocking, and rearranges all their furniture when they’re out of town.  Who sees her parents as both the people they were and they people they are.  Who sometimes catches glimpses of them in the mirror, and feels both hesitant and proud about that.  Who calls my mom just to talk, and loves seeing my dad working in the garage to build something.  Who worries about them growing older, how they will retire, and whether or not my children know their grandparents enough. 

I’m the oldest sibling- the sister who thinks I have it all together except for when I really, really, don’t.  Who experienced having foster siblings in high school & adopted siblings as an adult, so I’m not sure whether to tell people I’m the oldest of 3 or 7.  Who feels different being the only one with a significant other, married, and with children. Who loves coming home for dinners & game nights- but no longer being on the chore chart.

I am a leader.  I am transparent. I am hopeful.  I am emotional.

I am finally figuring things out..eventually.

I can't wait to see where this journey leads.

Chapter Two

Three years later.

Chapter Two.

One amazing blog and a community just beginning!

If you subscribed to To Each Their Own during our original run in 2013-2014, I hope you will join us again in a new chapter! We have some beautiful new authors- along with some familiar faces guest-authoring for us, and we can't wait to share this new journey with you!