My Phone. My Precious.

Our smart phones are the number one form of technology in our home. They sometimes become an issue. Sometimes while managing my online shop and responding to customer inquiries, I become a partial zombie to the world around me. I am more easily frustrated with my Steve when I’m busy-ing away on my phone. I get more stressed out if Jesse is doing something that would normally bug me just a little.

When I set my phone down, I’m back to “me-mode.” I am more patient, more attentive, and more involved. For this reason, I have decided to set times of the day when I check my phone. For example, I’ve considered checking my email accounts, Facebook, customer messages, and other apps first thing in the morning, during Jesse’s nap in the afternoon, and in the evening after Jesse goes to bed. Of course, there will always be exceptions. Calls are okay. Texting is to be limited. I use productivity apps throughout the day without a problem. Like checklists, reminders, and project apps.  

I don’t play any online games, on my phone, computer, or TV screen, but I do have Fisher Price Apps installed on my phone for Jesse, my 2 year old. I even have a Fisher Price monkey that comes with an iPhone box that protects the screen from the ocean of drool that constantly falls from his mouth. Steve enjoys game apps and computer games as well.

I am always weary of Jesse’s dependence on my phone to be happy. He lights up when I pull out my phone and he hears the Fisher Price start up tune begin to play. He claps enthusiastically, his smile spreads across his innocent face, and his eyes open wide in anticipation. I love to see his excitement! At the same time, I worry that he will come to heavily rely on these phone games for amusement.

Part of these feelings stem from my own nostalgia with my own experiences with education and leisure activities growing up. I loved me a good ol’ solid book! I love the touch of the pages on my fingers, the smell, and the satisfaction I feel when reading the last page. I’m often thinking, I have to read more books with Jesse! Not just at night! This requires me to sit down with him, forget about the busy world around us, and just read. It requires me to wrap my hand around his tiny hand and prompt him to point at the silly and colorful images. I need to be patient as he bangs away on the book and flips the pages prematurely. It requires me to make interesting sounds and have a luring narrative voice, otherwise he squirms in frustration. I imagine that if he could talk, he’d say “Why are we staring at this piece of board, and why are you talking so much? Hand me your iPhone and start that fun numbers game, with the colorful, moving pictures and catchy tunes!” This requires time. It requires patience. It’s a much different experience than handing him my phone. BUT! It requires togetherness. Which is what I love.

I have come to accept that education via smart phones, tablets, and computer monitors is an integrated part of our fast paced and ever changing world. I know that when Jesse goes to school, he will most likely own his own tablet and smart phone. For this reason, I set my nostalgia aside and embrace education via technology. After all, after unsuccessfully trying for months to get Jesse to point at picture in a book, he finally isolated his finger and swiped the images on my phone’s image gallery to see the next picture. I was utterly amazed. This is when the technology craze started in his little mind. The excitement. The ease. The control. The sense of achievement. He now plays his Fisher Price games while I cook dinner every evening, and all the while he looks up at me to make sure I’m watching. He looks up at me with eager eyes. I smile. I clap. I say “Wow! Good job!” He claps and smiles in satisfaction. He looks down and plays some more, pointing away. Happy as can be.

For a short while I would pull out my phone when I couldn’t get Jesse to calm down and stop crying. Then I realized that I wasn’t doing myself any favors. I realized that this sort of behavior wouldn’t stop if I gave in by rewarding him for his tantrums and bad behavior. What I do now is sit him up, distract him by bringing out a toy. I try to talk to him and be silly to make him happy. I give him a high five or tickle his feet. Then I show him my phone and ask him if he’d like to “play phone.” Only then do I allow him to play. So I try to separate the bad behavior from the fun game. It’s not always easy! Sometimes, I never get to the “play phone” part, but I have to set boundaries, right?

I haven’t successfully enforced our much needed “no technology during dinner” rule in our home, especially since we love to watch our favorite shows during dinner. We LOVE Suits, Kitchen Nightmares, and Master Chef. We are also Burn Notice fanatics. We watch our shows via a device called Roku on our TV. It’s basically internet TV, but the interface is made for easy and convenient control of all of your favorite movies and shows. It’s a small black box you attach to the back of your TV. You can load Apps onto it, like Spotify, Hulu Plus, and even games, like Angry Birds. The remote is Bluetooth and Wi-Fi enabled and works like a Wii remote when you’re playing games. You can even plug in your earphones directly into the remote if needed. If someone is noisily doing the dishes in the kitchen and you can’t hear the TV, you can just plug it in! You can also access files from your home computer and play them on your TV screen via your Roku device. I like Roku as opposed to regular cable or satellite TV because it doesn’t promote couch-potato-ing.  You know what you want to watch. You watch it. You’re done. You move with your day. Geez. I sound like I’m getting paid to talk about Roku. Sorry! I’m not. I just really like it. Either way, I’d like my family’s dinner time to be strictly personal. No phones. No TV. Just quality face time. And no, Apple’s Face-Time doesn’t count.

In our home, we embrace technology. Admittedly, it has occasionally become the source of disagreements arguments, and negativity. For this reason, I understand that boundaries must be set and every member has to be willing to stick to the rules. We can continue to search for the newest phones, the fastest internet and computers, the smoothest working tablets, the highest functioning apps, and the best gaming consoles. We just have to remember that the person in front of us is more important than the device in your hands. People matter. Love matters. Relationship growth matters. If technology is interfering with the growth of a relationship and the overall health of our family, then maybe it’s time for some boundaries and rules. If we ever find ourselves forebodingly hovered over our phone, protecting it like a paranoiac, hissing “my precious,” maybe it’s time for some outside help. An intervention, possibly? People are precious. Perhaps people may prepare you to prance away from your phone. Perchance?

What is one negative thing that technology brings to your family? Does your phone ever prevent you from staying in your “me-mode”? Have you found a solution? How about a positive thing? What are some of your favorite productivity apps or favorite family technology pastimes? We want to know about technology in your life! Comment below! I want to know! (: