Out of The Poop Loop

They say write what you know.

So this week- with the topic of “potty training”, I was really tempted to not write at all.  I sincerely thought about seeing if I could find someone to fill-in for me with a guest post.   Surely there are a bajillion moms better qualified than my novice self.  Good experiences, bad experiences, ANY experience has to be better than NO experience. Right?

I mean aside from being a successful toilet-user myself, I have absolutely zero potty-training experience.

Of course I've seen the pins on Pinterest.  I've skimmed through “From Diapers to Undies in Under a Week” articles.  I've seen the plastic potties and child-sized toilet seats in my friend’s bathrooms.  I've heard legends of sticker charts and all kinds of bribes incentives from dolls to dump trucks. But when it comes to the real deal, I’m a deer in the headlights.

You mean one day my sons will need to use the bathroom instead of their pants?  And you mean that I, as their mother, have a responsibility to make sure they eventually cross that threshold?  ….uhhhhhh

But after some encouraging words from one of my fellow TETO authors, here I am to put a voice to all the mamas out there who have yet to “slay the beast” of potty-training. 

[Base Image Credit: http://th02.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2011/162/b/e/dragon_slaying____by_pixelcharlie-d3in4jm.jpg]

Fact of the matter is- “Opinions are like…” well they are like something that everyone has.  And everyone has an opinion on potty training- whether they realize it or not.  With all the "do's" and "don'ts" the process can be really intimidating.  Add that to the fact that some children (like your sister in law's) potty-train instantly, other children (like yours) seem content to crouch around in a pull-up cave-man-style surviving off Cheetos they found under the couch and ignoring the perfectly good incentive-snacks/stickers/underwear etc... you bought specifically for this purpose. 

And you're bound to feel like you're doing something wrong.  Even if that something is simply birthing a child who is happy to urinate anywhere OTHER than the perfectly good toilet you scrubbed extra well just for this special occasion. (And in the occasion that company may come over and you need something to distract them from the patches of hair missing all over your head so that they think you haven't completely lost it.)

[Disclaimer!!!  While I may or may not have discarded Cheetos under my couch- these events are NOT based on actual events...at my house...yet.  Except maybe the toilet.  Wait... no. Don't look at my toilet. ]

It seems like successfully getting your child to go to the bathroom consistently when/where they are supposed to is almost like a rite of passage into full-fledged motherhood.  When your little one is in diapers, you have a baby.  When they are in undies- you have a child.  And somehow that is a completely different ball game.  It means your “baby”  is now old enough to be aware of their own bodily functions.  That means they can communicate, they can make choices, and to the bittersweet realization of their mothers- they are slowly growing up.

It seems ironic to me that “motherhood” really begins with the first sign that your child’s dependence on you is ending.

Last month, my oldest son, Graham turned two.  Throughout my pregnancy with my younger son (Xander, one month now!) Graham started showing more and more interest with the potty.  He began associating us going into the bathroom with using the toilet, and what we did in the toilet with what he did in his diaper. 

There were even a few golden moments when Brandon held our bare-bummed-babe up to the toilet so Graham could tinkle big-boy style.  Graham has started telling us when his diaper is dirty, or if he’s going to the bathroom.  I read somewhere (probably on pinterest) that making potty-going a social event will make eventual potty-training easier.  So that’s what we do.  If he starts making a face like he’s trying to go to the bathroom we ask him.  If he says yes we hold him and comfort him and tell him to push.  That probably seems really weird, but I’m not really concerned with what other people think is “weird”.   I’m concerned that when we finally decide it’s “go” time and start the potty training process- that Graham will be as comfortable as someone being watched as they go to the bathroom can be. 

Now… while I’m making all these grand plans for the future- our present situation begs attention.  They say not to attempt potty training immediately before, during, or after a big change.  So far this summer Graham has experienced both a move and becoming an older brother.  I’d say those are pretty “big” changes for a toddler.  (…or for anyone!)  So- we will not be attempting potty training this summer.

I was somewhat disappointed in this decision.  He seemed so enthusiastic! But- as Graham sees me changing Xander’s diaper and he brings me the diaper changing supplies and lays down next to his baby brother for his turn- I feel incredibly validated in our choice.  Any potty training we would have accomplished would surely have been set-back by the need for Graham to feel he is receiving the same (or more) attention as the baby; or by the fact that we are just completely exhausted and do not have the energy needed to really dedicate ourselves to the potty-training process. 

It will happen eventually.  And while I will be happy to wave goodbye to those stinky bundles of wadded-up poo… I will miss being able to make it through and entire Target run without having to worry about whether anyone other than myself has to go potty. 

Once again I find myself enjoying the moment and not wishing my time with my babies away.  The grass is always greener… but my grass is still pretty green.  

Pea-soup colored diaper green.