Tech-KNOW-logy: A letter to my former high school students and my future teenage children

Dear former students and future mini-me & my-girl:

I remember a time when cell phones were the size of bricks and were scarce...like I only really saw Zack Morris from Saved by the Bell use one...

Zack Morris. Very cool (in the 90's).

I remember when a word processor was so much cooler than a type writer and I would to use it to type up my school papers.

Word processor...I can't BELIEVE I used to used these

I remember when instead of seeing people attached to their cell phones, I’d see them listening to music on their walk-mans or boom boxes or perhaps (gasp) not using any gadget while walking.

Loved walkmans..P.S. my first cassette ever was Vanilla Ice, baby.

I remember a time when I had to use a payphone to call someone (yup..don’t miss that one).

I remember when I would walk on my college campus in the late 90’s and could lock eyes with almost anyone and say hi to them because we didn’t have many hand-held distractions back then.

I remember when I was watching an episode of one of the first reality TV shows ever, called the Real World on MTV, and thought: Are there really people that stupid who would want to expose so many intimate, personal details of their lives on television?

It doesn’t seem that long ago. Ok, well maybe it's a little longer than I’d like to admit.

Of course, now we all live in one of the most cutting-edge and exciting times. You are part of an amazing generation. Your potential is limitless and your options are vast.

Never before has the world been so small. We can go on a business trip and “be home” via skype to read a bedtime story to the kiddos. We can “face time” family and friends from wherever we are in the world. 

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We can save the planet a little bit more by uploading a textbook on our phones instead of reading the real, printed version.

We can get the latest news without having to read a newspaper or turn on a TV.

We can share videos of natural disasters to learn from them and to warn those who might be in its path of destruction.

We can share do-it-yourself videos and recipes on YouTube to help others achieve similar or the same results.

So many advantages...and yet there are disadvantages, too.

When I taught you in high school, I was amazed and saddened how so many of you would write your assignments in texting language, like “UR”, “2nite”, “IMHO”, and “GR8”, instead of writing the proper word.

Some of you could text what seemed like one hundred words a minute, but couldn’t sign your names properly at the age of 17…one year away from adulthood.

A few of you could practically hack into the FBI mainframe database but couldn’t find the words to talk to that student sitting right next to you.

There were so many of you who shared way too much of your lives with people you never met before. You shared videos, posted pictures, made weird duck faces and laughed at the comments made by anonymous trolls.

Instead of watching the now numerous reality shows available, you are the star of your own reality show with just touch of a button on your phone.

Several of you could define “web words” and slang such as defrag, hot-spots, cached-out, or ping…but couldn’t explain the difference between their, they’re or there.

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Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not ragging on being tech-saavy. I love what technology does for us. I truly love how it does make the world a little smaller and how it can re-connect us with loved ones. 

I love how it allows us to take a sneak peek into the lives of people of different ethnicity, creeds, and religions, and has the potential to teach and preach tolerance and love. 

I love how I can type, better yet, speak an address into my phone and almost instantly receive driving directions to my next destination. 

I love how I can find recipes and find blog after blog written by amazing, uplifting people who help me be a better mother, wife, daughter, sister…a better me.

But there’s this nagging feeling that I have with technology and it has to do with lack of balance.

We need to balance our tech-lives with more moderation and with more wisdom. We need to be careful not to become so addicted that we lose sight of the incredible advantages our gadgets can provide.

As I sit back and think about how far we’ve come with technology, here are a few thoughts that come into my mind based on my real life experiences with observing you all . As we continue growing with our ever-changing technology, let’s KNOW how to use it:

K- Keep it real. I mean really real. Take a break from updating your Facebook status or playing one more “instance” in your role-playing game of choice and try re-connecting with your RL (real-life) friends in other ways. Call a friend on the phone to hear their voice for a change (and to have them hear yours) instead of texting. Have a face-to-face conversation with a loved one. Send a handwritten note to someone who needs it. Have meaningful family time without glancing at and worrying about your phone.

N- Say “No” to divulging too much. Technology really is a double edged sword. Due to how small the world now seems, it gives us instant accessibility to anything and everything…and anything and everything has access to us. By being prudent in what we share online, we can protect ourselves a little more from others who want to gain access to us and to the people in our lives. Limit the personal information you share. Be respectful of others and don’t share their information or pictures, either (without permission). Be safe and selective of what you share. Don’t be impulsive. You never know what will come back to haunt you 10 or 15 years from now when you’re trying to land that dream job or when your own children start to “google” your name.

O- Be open with your parents about the information coming to you via your phone (and what you’re sharing, too). A lot of kids forget that their parents care about them. Truly care and love them. One of the worst things kids do is make choices that alienate themselves from their parents and families or make choices that make their parents distrust them. When inappropriate comments, pictures or other information are coming your way, have the courage to be open with your parents. Talk to them. Also, it’s important to note that cyber-bullying is a huge threat today with real consequences for some teens and their families. Your parents can be huge components and catalysts to helping you get the negative out and the positive back into your life.  

W- Be weary of who you give your number to. This is similar to not divulging too much of your personal life with others. If you start to give your cell phone number to everyone, everyone has access to you. That means they can potentially harass you by sending pictures or messages you don’t want to see and read (until you block their number). Remember, even private texts can become public. Don’t respond to people you don’t know, either. I'm not saying never share your number with anyone...just be sensible.

If you've already made some mistakes, learn from them. Be an agent of accountability and responsibility. Act for yourself, rather than be acted upon by others. Just use that good ol' noggin and KNOW what you're getting into. 

With love,

Someone who cares: Your former teacher and...for a couple of you, your loving mom

My Phone. My Precious.

Our smart phones are the number one form of technology in our home. They sometimes become an issue. Sometimes while managing my online shop and responding to customer inquiries, I become a partial zombie to the world around me. I am more easily frustrated with my Steve when I’m busy-ing away on my phone. I get more stressed out if Jesse is doing something that would normally bug me just a little.

When I set my phone down, I’m back to “me-mode.” I am more patient, more attentive, and more involved. For this reason, I have decided to set times of the day when I check my phone. For example, I’ve considered checking my email accounts, Facebook, customer messages, and other apps first thing in the morning, during Jesse’s nap in the afternoon, and in the evening after Jesse goes to bed. Of course, there will always be exceptions. Calls are okay. Texting is to be limited. I use productivity apps throughout the day without a problem. Like checklists, reminders, and project apps.  

I don’t play any online games, on my phone, computer, or TV screen, but I do have Fisher Price Apps installed on my phone for Jesse, my 2 year old. I even have a Fisher Price monkey that comes with an iPhone box that protects the screen from the ocean of drool that constantly falls from his mouth. Steve enjoys game apps and computer games as well.

I am always weary of Jesse’s dependence on my phone to be happy. He lights up when I pull out my phone and he hears the Fisher Price start up tune begin to play. He claps enthusiastically, his smile spreads across his innocent face, and his eyes open wide in anticipation. I love to see his excitement! At the same time, I worry that he will come to heavily rely on these phone games for amusement.

Part of these feelings stem from my own nostalgia with my own experiences with education and leisure activities growing up. I loved me a good ol’ solid book! I love the touch of the pages on my fingers, the smell, and the satisfaction I feel when reading the last page. I’m often thinking, I have to read more books with Jesse! Not just at night! This requires me to sit down with him, forget about the busy world around us, and just read. It requires me to wrap my hand around his tiny hand and prompt him to point at the silly and colorful images. I need to be patient as he bangs away on the book and flips the pages prematurely. It requires me to make interesting sounds and have a luring narrative voice, otherwise he squirms in frustration. I imagine that if he could talk, he’d say “Why are we staring at this piece of board, and why are you talking so much? Hand me your iPhone and start that fun numbers game, with the colorful, moving pictures and catchy tunes!” This requires time. It requires patience. It’s a much different experience than handing him my phone. BUT! It requires togetherness. Which is what I love.

I have come to accept that education via smart phones, tablets, and computer monitors is an integrated part of our fast paced and ever changing world. I know that when Jesse goes to school, he will most likely own his own tablet and smart phone. For this reason, I set my nostalgia aside and embrace education via technology. After all, after unsuccessfully trying for months to get Jesse to point at picture in a book, he finally isolated his finger and swiped the images on my phone’s image gallery to see the next picture. I was utterly amazed. This is when the technology craze started in his little mind. The excitement. The ease. The control. The sense of achievement. He now plays his Fisher Price games while I cook dinner every evening, and all the while he looks up at me to make sure I’m watching. He looks up at me with eager eyes. I smile. I clap. I say “Wow! Good job!” He claps and smiles in satisfaction. He looks down and plays some more, pointing away. Happy as can be.

For a short while I would pull out my phone when I couldn’t get Jesse to calm down and stop crying. Then I realized that I wasn’t doing myself any favors. I realized that this sort of behavior wouldn’t stop if I gave in by rewarding him for his tantrums and bad behavior. What I do now is sit him up, distract him by bringing out a toy. I try to talk to him and be silly to make him happy. I give him a high five or tickle his feet. Then I show him my phone and ask him if he’d like to “play phone.” Only then do I allow him to play. So I try to separate the bad behavior from the fun game. It’s not always easy! Sometimes, I never get to the “play phone” part, but I have to set boundaries, right?

I haven’t successfully enforced our much needed “no technology during dinner” rule in our home, especially since we love to watch our favorite shows during dinner. We LOVE Suits, Kitchen Nightmares, and Master Chef. We are also Burn Notice fanatics. We watch our shows via a device called Roku on our TV. It’s basically internet TV, but the interface is made for easy and convenient control of all of your favorite movies and shows. It’s a small black box you attach to the back of your TV. You can load Apps onto it, like Spotify, Hulu Plus, and even games, like Angry Birds. The remote is Bluetooth and Wi-Fi enabled and works like a Wii remote when you’re playing games. You can even plug in your earphones directly into the remote if needed. If someone is noisily doing the dishes in the kitchen and you can’t hear the TV, you can just plug it in! You can also access files from your home computer and play them on your TV screen via your Roku device. I like Roku as opposed to regular cable or satellite TV because it doesn’t promote couch-potato-ing.  You know what you want to watch. You watch it. You’re done. You move with your day. Geez. I sound like I’m getting paid to talk about Roku. Sorry! I’m not. I just really like it. Either way, I’d like my family’s dinner time to be strictly personal. No phones. No TV. Just quality face time. And no, Apple’s Face-Time doesn’t count.

In our home, we embrace technology. Admittedly, it has occasionally become the source of disagreements arguments, and negativity. For this reason, I understand that boundaries must be set and every member has to be willing to stick to the rules. We can continue to search for the newest phones, the fastest internet and computers, the smoothest working tablets, the highest functioning apps, and the best gaming consoles. We just have to remember that the person in front of us is more important than the device in your hands. People matter. Love matters. Relationship growth matters. If technology is interfering with the growth of a relationship and the overall health of our family, then maybe it’s time for some boundaries and rules. If we ever find ourselves forebodingly hovered over our phone, protecting it like a paranoiac, hissing “my precious,” maybe it’s time for some outside help. An intervention, possibly? People are precious. Perhaps people may prepare you to prance away from your phone. Perchance?

What is one negative thing that technology brings to your family? Does your phone ever prevent you from staying in your “me-mode”? Have you found a solution? How about a positive thing? What are some of your favorite productivity apps or favorite family technology pastimes? We want to know about technology in your life! Comment below! I want to know! (:

 

Embrace.

Last night as we wandered Target (a favorite past time) we found ourselves in the electronic section. Brandon and I had a good laugh when Payton (4) and Derek (2) ran to the TV displays and started poking the screens as if they were touchscreens. The world they live in is amazing.

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I remember in my elementary school when we received the most beautiful colored MAC computers in our library. I thought my school was so cool!

I remember not too many years ago when Microsoft announced it was making a touchscreen table. I was blown away.

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Now, suddenly my children think everything is touchscreen because this is the new “norm”. And, quite frankly, I have no problem with an influx of technology in their lives. While there are pitfalls and there can be downright Evil when it comes to technology, this is our world. Technology is our world. If I don’t let my children participate (in appropriate ways) they will resent me and go behind my back.

Instead of hiding them from the evils of our day (which try as someone might, is not possible), Brandon and I choose to rear them to be aware of the bad and to cling to the good. We set limits. No phones at the dinner table. They only typically play Angry Birds when I’m making dinner or we’re at a doctor’s appointment. And if I really need them to be quiet (sounds terrible, but you moms know what I mean) and they need to be distracted for longer periods of time, I have downloaded educational apps on my tablet. We do not have smart phones yet. I try to avoid Facebook and Instagram except when sitting down to feed my baby (which at this point in my life happens a lot!). But, GASP!, we let our 4 and 2 year old hold an X-Box controller while Daddy plays non-shooting games. This is one way my boys bond together.

These are some of our “rules” but everyone, every family is different. And that is okay. Throughout my journey as a woman, and especially as a mother, I’ve learned that we can’t judge. I used to be that person who would cringe in the grocery store if I saw a kiddo playing on a Nintendo DS. And, now, I get it:

To Each Their Own.

Sometimes I am at a breaking point. Baby is screaming, groceries are melting, cart’s wheels are crap, 4 year old is whining, and my monkey of a 2 year old keeps escaping the confines of the shopping cart. I dangle my tablet in front of them and say, “Who wants to play Angry Birds?”. Immediately two of my three kids are pacified.

You do what you got to do. Set boundaries. Set limits. Set standards. Set an example. But be flexible and embrace technology! 

The Digital Double-Edged Sword

This week’s topic could not have come at a better time.  As I sit semi-barricaded in our office after having a semi-humorous/semi-serious discussion with my husband about the location of our desktop computer, I have to admit I can definitely see where people come from when discussing how technology can have serious damaging effects and over-all negative consequences on the family.

(Disclaimer: no we were not fighting- but if he wasn't so darn cute we might have.)

My husband and I have also recently debated the concept of having a screen-free day once a week where we spend as much time as possible off our phones, tablets, computers, and television as possible.  I love the idea- and in my heart of hearts I truly think it will be for the best once we get it going… but getting there is another story altogether. 

{Image Source: Here}

{Image Source: Here}

You see, Brandon and I are both technology lovers. I don’t consider myself to be a technological expert by any means- but I do consider myself fairly tech-savvy.  I may or may not have rescued no less than three laptops during pre-planning week at my school.  I feel confident in using technology as a resource in my classroom, and I’m often right alongside my students in their excitement for new technological releases.  And in my home?  Let’s just say that if we were to give away all our unnecessary pieces of technology… our home would feel very empty indeed.

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Now that I’ve asserted my love for all things internet-compatible… I have to also add that if my iPhone were a leather couch, my butt-print would be securely indented on the center cushion for all the world to see.  I’m seriously on that beast TWENTY.FOUR.SEVEN.  Like… it’s ridiculous.  Between the regular calling and texting (regular phone stuff) it is also my Camera, GPS, Grocerylist, Recipebook, To-Do list, Family Calendar, Timer, Baby-book memory saver, Mirror, Newspaper, Game-center, Poetry notepad, Information resource, Music Player- and So. Much. More!  

(Not to mention of course Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest. Hah)

So… with my smart-phone dependence noted, I’m unfortunately obligated to share this little gem my mom posted on her Facebook the other day.

(Please note the youtube video doesn't show on mobile devices for some reason.)

 So- Let's reflect.

How I imagine you’re “supposed” to feel watching this clip:

“Oh wow… look at all those people missing-out on life’s precious moments.  They are so busy on their phones to even notice what’s going on around them.”

How I *actually* feel watching this clip:

“Oh wow… look at that poor girl missing-out on fully enjoying/sharing/remembering life’s precious moments.  She is so busy feeling depressed and out of the loop to even enjoy what’s going on around her.”

I guess what I’m trying to say- is technology really is one of life’s sharpest double-edged swords. 

As technology grows and develops, it continues to have an everlasting impact on our daily lives- whether we want it to or not.  It gives us the opportunity to interact, learn, and share in a way that was never before possible.  It increases efficiency and accuracy.  We can communicate through texts, e-mails, phone calls, face-time, video chats, instant messaging, and so much more with all our friends and loved ones- no matter the distance.

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Our world is shrinking daily.  We find ourselves able to reach our friends, family, and even strangers across the globe with the click of a mouse; the tap of a touch-screen. It's an AMAZING thing.  Not only does this "shrinking world" have fantastic benefits for the world of business, but it's a blessing for families too.  Deployed soldiers in foreign countries video-chatting with their sweethearts, out-of-state grandparents hearing the voice of their grandchildren, working parents receiving text-pictures of their children on their lunch breaks.

And yet- we may find ourselves becoming increasingly more distant from those closest to us physically.  I don't think the late-night (or weekend morning) home with curtains closed and family members spread sporadically throughout the house- faces illuminated with their various screens.

Check out this still-frame from one of my favorite shows "Modern Family".  Here Phil (the dad) and his three children enjoy some "quality family time" while mom is away.
Like so many other scenes in the show- we laughed at this part... because even though we feel guilty admitting it, we could relate.  And suddenly we realize we aren't alone.

In conclusion- when writing on the topic of  "technology and the family" I find myself just as "double-edged" as the sword I mentioned earlier.  I'm not entirely convinced that technology is really the biggest family-foe it's made out to be... but I do believe we have to be careful.  

I hope this image I found on google-search doesn't offend anyone; but I feel like it has a powerful message.
We can't be fooled by the "good intentions" of time-suckers like smartphones and gaming systems.  

All things in moderation.

It's so easy to slip into an internet coma.  (Wait.. how many hours have I been on Pinterest?!)
It's so easy to answer that one text (Sorry- what did you say? Someone was texting me.)
It's so easy to stay up late finishing that blog post (It has a good message- just a few more sentences!)

And while we're there...while we may be taking in so much...we're also missing things.  We need to be incredibly cautious with how we are spending our time.

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I don't want to be like the old ladies who couldn't figure out how to program their VCR- but I'm also not sure I want my tombstone to read:

"Jessica- quick-texting mother and tech-savvy wife who saw every LOLcat Meme before you did."

Our time here is precious.  There are many wonderful and worthwhile doors technology can open for us, but we need to remember that there are some equally if not more wonderful and worthwhile doors right here- in "real" life.  It's up to us to use our judgement when deciding how much tech-time is too much.


And for tonight... I think I've had enough.
Time to plug-in the iPhone to charge, and snuggle under the covers.
Tomorrow is a new day.