Working on Staying at Home- Guest Post by Robyn

" Stay at home mom. "

          For some, this term brings up feelings of guilt at having to be a working mom, for others it may bring up feelings of confusion as to how someone could “sit at home” all the time, and for yet others it is simply the term used to describe what they are. 

The decision on whether to be a stay at home mom or a working mom is a very difficult one to make. No matter which decision you choose to make, there are judgments cast against you. Working moms are criticized for not being around to raise their children, for not being home enough. People say things like, “I don't know how you do it.” or “How could you leave your baby?” Stay at home moms are criticized for not helping to provide for their families and for sitting around all day doing nothing. People question how you don't get bored or joke about how nice it must be to have so much free time. The truth is, there are sacrifices to be made in either decision, and they are sometimes very hard ones to make.

            When I had my first son, there was no question; I was staying home with him for as long as I could. I stayed with him for nineteen exhausting and amazing months. It was a very tight, difficult time for my family, but I absolutely cherish every second I was able to spend with him, and in many ways they were the best nineteen months of my life. My son and I bonded in such a special way that I just don't think would have been possible had I spent all of those days at work rather than with him. Sometime towards the end of those months, though, my husband and I decided it would be best for everyone if I went back to work. We wanted to buy a house, so the money would be nice, and I needed to do something “useful” for my own sense of self worth. Going back to work was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I cried for weeks beforehand, and every time I dropped my son off to daycare for almost a year. I felt so guilty that I was spending more time at work than with my child and that someone else was essentially raising my child instead of me. Every bad habit that was brought home from daycare, and every new thing he learned was a reminder that someone else had more influence on him than I did.

           Shortly after I started working, my husband and I got pregnant with our second child. I was so excited, but with that also came the dread of telling the superiors at my job. Being a teacher to middle school children, I did not have the pleasure of hiding my pregnancy or breaking the news in my own way. My students were kind enough to call me out in class one day, something along the lines of, “Are you pregnant? You used to be really skinny and now you're not.” Thanks so much for noticing. By the way, I was only about eight weeks along. Fortunately, a lot of teachers are women so schools seem to be pretty understanding and accepting of pregnancies. It wasn't very long before the gossip started, though. While walking through the office one day, I overheard two coworkers talking about me and how they were certain I wouldn't come back to work after the baby was born, saying, “It must be nice to have money like that, wish I could just stay home”. This sort of judgment has never made sense to me. Lets face it, unless you are in someone's everyday life, you have no idea what their finances are or what sacrifices might be being made to make something happen.

            My second son was born in September. I stayed home for 8 weeks, though I received some grief for that from a few coworkers, including an email that was highlighted and done in bold stating the average maternity leave is only 6 weeks. I knew before he was born that I wanted to stay home with him for at least his first year. For various reasons, I returned to work after my 8 weeks off, with the intent of only staying for 5 weeks. I enjoy my job, but I enjoy being a mom more. I have come to the conclusion that it is impossible to give your all to both your job and your children. In the end, one or both ends up suffering. The hardest part about my decision to once again be a stay at home mom, was giving my resignation.

            I don't care how old you are, the principal is scary. Having only worked at my school for a little over a year, I did not know my principal well, other than that she did not go out of her way to talk to me, and she made me nervous any time she did. I decided the best thing for my nerves would be to send a resignation letter via email. Call me a coward if you like, but it was much easier that way. Much to my surprise, my principal was not only very understanding of my decision, but during one conversation she told me that in twenty years I will look back and know that I made the right decision. In another conversation she suggested that I could return to my job when my kids were in school, and in yet another she told me I was welcome back any time I like and asked if I would be willing to substitute once in a while.

            It has been three weeks since my return to stay at home mom status, and in so many ways it is different than the first time I held that title. I do not get to spend hours just gazing upon the face of my little baby, and I do not get to spend all day laughing and playing with my little boy. Life with two children is a little more chaotic than with just one. But it is also that much more beautiful. I have the pleasure of watching my boys interact, which can be one of the most heart wrenching, amazing things I have ever seen. I get to watch my sons grow and learn each and every day. I really don't believe a day goes by that I am not amazed by my toddlers intelligence, compassion, sense of humor, and imagination. The baby gets bigger by the minute I think, and is learning and talking and becoming his own little person as well.

            While I am sure at some point, perhaps even multiple times, during my time as a stay at home mom, I will feel unappreciated or useless or invaluable. See, we as moms are very hard on ourselves over everything. I am not sure that we can help it. As I have felt in the past, I am sure I will have pangs of guilt when I am spending money that I did not earn, or doing something fun with the kids while my husband is at work. Then I will remind myself, or likely my husband will remind me, that I am valuable and I do have a purpose and my job is important.

Fear of Age Three

A year from now, my little guy will have the opportunity to start school. Yes. My LITTLE BABY! I am suddenly filled with anxiety just thinking about his care and livelihood being placed at the mercy of another person’s hands. He’s just Jesse. He needs me. I understand him. Ever since we were first aware of Jesse’s challenges as a baby, he was enrolled in a government funded program for babies with developmental delays and other setbacks called Early Steps.

Early Steps services children with early intervention therapies such as physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy, and early intervention (EI). In addition to these therapies, you may seek other therapies outside of Early Steps. Jesse receives the majority of his therapies through Independent Living. They’ve been amazing! Babies qualify for these services until the age of 3. At the age of 2 and 6 months, the process of transition starts. With your consent, your child referred to the Local Education Agency (LEA). Again, this is all optional! I’ll visit all of the local LEA preschool sites and other community education programs for babies with special needs. I’ll have the opportunity to observe, learn what a typical day would be like, and grill everything with a heart beat! Believe me! I’ll have a thousand questions for each and every person in these places!  Like “ Are you aware that I love my baby to death? Are you aware that I if you ever hurt him or cause him any pain in ANY way (emotional or physical), I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE?! Really. To Death. ”

 

With that being said, here are some of my common fears:

1.        He doesn’t talk. No one will understand him.

Jesse doesn’t talk. He doesn’t use words. He knows a few signs that we’ve worked so hard to learn in the past 2 years. He signs “more,” “up,” and “all done.” If you count “peek-a-boo” as a sign, then he’s got that one mastered too. Apart from those, he’s got another extensive vocabulary of facial expressions and body language. Some are very unusual. Like when he’s pulling around on his belly, pauses and stiffens his little his left leg and it shakes a little, I know he’s excited about something. Perhaps he’s spotted a long lost toy under the couch, that only a little guy like him could spot from his world down below. I know when he’s on the verge of hunger. I know when he’s concerned or afraid. He keep his eyes fixed on my eyes, reading me, to see if I am also afraid or concerned. If I turn my head, concealing my face, he leans over and adjusts to see my expression. He relies on me to understand the world around him.

 

Solution: The most important thing to do, if this is the case your child, is to bring the necessary tools to make communication easier between him and the teacher. Your child’s teacher should be a trained professional, ready to start an individual plan for your child, but providing her with information about signs he may use or pictures that will facilitate his way of communicating, is always a great idea.I have implemented pictures into our communication. Before I feed him, I show him a picture of his food. I repeat the word “eat” as I prepare the food. I keep signing “eat” to him and encouraging him to do the same. I’ve been doing this since he first started to eat solids. He hasn’t signed it yet, but he understands SO MUCH MORE, than he can reciprocate and communicate back to you. When he’s ready for school, I’m hoping that he will have mastered his picture book and some more signs. I need to accept that his teacher will be a trained professional. I just need to provide him or her with the tools necessary to make communication easier. She will follow the individualized plan set for him daily. I intend to create a positive relationship with his teacher. I’ll ask her when is the best time and way to contact her and discuss his progress. I’ll volunteer as often as possible and become an involved mommy. In the process, I hope this will help me to alleviate some of my fears and anxiety.

 

2.        If he has a tantrum, no one will understand how to calm him down. They will lose their patience and treat him badly.

I feel irreplaceable in my Jesse’s life as I’m sure most of you do as well. Although Jesse is generally a crazy happy baby, he will occasionally be in these unexplainable moods. I have to go through a mental list of “what could be wrong with him.”

 

Solution: I will talk with the teacher about some special signs of distress that Jesse exhibits occasionally. I can help her to understand how to react and what expressions to try to avoid when he’s feeling vulnerable. I can show her toys that calm him down. I can show her how to make him feel comfortable. He likes to be held certain ways that make him feel safe and loved. I will communicate all of these things to the teacher. I might even make a “easy reference” document.

 

3.       He coughs and chokes on his food almost daily. I fear neglect.

 

I am afraid that people will under/overreact to his struggles with feeding. He doesn’t always chew his food before swallowing it. He doesn’t know how to control food properly in his mouth. He needs thickened liquids. If it’s too thick, he struggles, if it’s too thin he aspirates, which could later lead to lung infections. While eating, if he starts to gag, he can often work through it. I wait a few seconds, think about what he’s eating, see if he can figure it out, and decide whether to swipe it out or give him more time to try to chew it. I’m faced with this decision several times a day. If I ever have company over, I can see the fear come over them as they notice Jesse struggling. I often have to assure them that he’s okay. I just have to be very cautious and know when to intervene.

Solution: Communicate these concerns in detail with his teacher and other therapists present. Help them to understand that it can be very scary for him to have someone force their hand into his mouth. He often will be very emotional and hurt for up to half an hour of the experience. I just need to communicate all of the steps they can take and avoid to make his feeding experience better.

 

4.       He can’t communicate well enough to express if he’s being bullied or abused at school.

I am afraid that because of his inability to respond well to instruction, someone will lose it and hurt him.  I know that these are trained professionals, but you hear bad stories.

Solution:  Advice I’ve found helpful Pictures are very useful to address this issue. Talk to the teacher about your concerns. Request a written calendar of activities so you know what he’s supposed to be doing each day, and how to ask him simple questions about his day that he may respond to with a simple yes or no. For example, did you eat pizza today? Was it good? Pay special attention to his behavior and, if it comes up, never force your child to attend school without understanding why he doesn’t want to go.Pictures are very useful to address this issue. Talk to the teacher about your concerns. Request a written calendar of activities so you know what he’s supposed to be doing each day, and how to ask him simple questions about his day that he may respond to with a simple yes or no. For example, did you eat pizza today? Was it good? Pay special attention to his behavior and, if it comes up, never force your child to attend school without understanding why he doesn’t want to go.

Pictures are very useful to address this issue. Talk to the teacher about your concerns. Request a written calendar of activities so you know what he’s supposed to be doing each day, and how to ask him simple questions about his day that he may respond to with a simple yes or no. For example, did you eat pizza today? Was it good? Pay special attention to his behavior and, if it comes up, never force your child to attend school without understanding why he doesn’t want to go.1. Communicate my concerns with teacher.

22. Request a calendar of his daily activities so that I can know what he’s supposed to be doing throughout the day. I can then ask him simple questions about his activities that he can respond yes or no to. (We’re far away from being able to do this, but it’s my goal.)

3. Example: “Did you eat bananas today? Bananas? Good?”

3. 3. I will pay close attention to how he reacts. I will observe his expression when I ask about school and playtime. If I ever feel that he for some serious reason is afraid to keep attending school or seems unusually anxious, I will investigate myself. Great advise I found online was to “never force your child to go to school without first understanding why he or she doesn’t want to go.”

GreatGG

3. 5. Bus? He’s too young! It’s not safe!

At some point, I will have the option of allowing him to ride the school bus. I fear that it’s not safe for him. He’s too young for a school bus.

Solution: Special needs school buses are updated and made especially for children with an inability to sit up straight or control their bodies. Depending on Jesse’s height, weight, and physical and mental challenges, he will be seated in a booster seat or car seat or seated regularly using a seatbelt.  Drivers are taught to give each child the time he or she needs to get into the bus. I would imagine that they’d need to be very patient! So I will have my eye on the bus driver!  

5.       He needs to take his medications daily.

I am afraid someone will neglect to give him his medications.

Solution: If this fear continues to linger, I will make a list of medications and ask the nurse to initial each daily medication as it is administered. She may also use a calendar as a visual reminder of his medications. It will help me to feel more at ease and have a less stressful and worrisome day.

 

Overall, I just need to be open with his teacher. I need to communicate all of my concerns. I am happy to know that I have options, like what location to choose and what teachers and professionals I feel more comfortable with. It’s reassuring to know that I can let him attend his school for a little time or as much time as I feel happy with! I can take him for an hour or let him stay all day! I am pleased to know that he will interact with other kids and learn from his experiences. He will learn to deal with people. He will receive all of his normal therapies throughout the day. He will grow and I will too. That is what life is about. Growing… and knowing where his teacher lives.

Travel Survival with the Tots

As a mom, I have a love-hate relationship with vacations. 

On one hand I relish the thought of a break from the normal day-to-day routines.

On the other hand I fear the notion of the broken normal day-to-day routines.

The first vacation we took as parents was when Mini-me was six months old. We went to the Bahamas. You could say we were new to this traveling-with-a-child thing.

The week before our trip, I was a neurotic focused, packing soldier. I probably packed over a hundred diapers for a four-day trip and brought every medicine known possible (because any country outside of the U.S. doesn’t have these things, of course). I packed extra sheets for the baby (because there was no way I was going to let her sleep on the hotel’s infant crib sheets), her bulky sponge bathtub, all types of Johnson & Johnson baby products, and like 5-10 outfits per day for her to be changed into, just in case she spat up or soiled herself multiples times. She needed her own suitcase and I would even say, was ready for the apocalypse, should it happen.

During our trip, I also became the nap nazi and made sure she took her naps at the same time, each day and went to bed at her regular bedtime all while her sound machine lulled in the background (because if naps and bedtime routines were missed, ALL would be lost and our beautifully planned Bahamian-paradise vacation would be an utter f-a-i-l-u-r-e).  I am rolling my eyes even now as I type this.

There was a moment on our vacation when I asked myself, how the heck did it come to this?

Fast forward one year and a little bit after My-girl was born, we started planning another vacation, this time on a smaller scale, and in our home state. I rethought my vacation planning strategy and decided that if I was going to keep my sanity, I needed to start my vacation off right by relaxing a little more and thinking more clearly about how to efficiently AND effectively plan and enjoy a vacation with our two littles. After a few road trips and vacations under our belt, I've narrowed our vacation success tips down to this list: 

1) Travel during nap times- Routine mayhem with toddlers is to be expected on a vacation, but it doesn’t always have to start out that way. When possible, BBH and I typically like to plan our road trips around our girls’ naps. We sometimes start driving around nap time or at least plan for their nap to happen during the drive. This has been so helpful and our girls tend to be much happier and refreshed once we get to our destinations and start to catch up with our family.

2) Pack right –We try to keep our packing as light as possible. I honestly struggle with this, but BBH keeps me in check. I tend to stress out and end up over-packing for the kids, until I found this cool idea from All Things Simple. I will definitely be doing this while packing for our next vacation. You put your child’s entire outfit, including underwear and hair accessories in a zip-lock-gallon bag (for each day). When your child is getting ready, they can choose a bag and...bada bing, bada boom! Problem solved. This seems like it would be especially good for the child who wants to choose what they want to wear (I already have one of those on my hands).

Image credit: All Things Simple

3) Well-Equipped Diaper Bag- My LL Bean diaper bag has become my purse and acts as my emergency backup bag for the whole family. I love this diaper bag. It holds so much and is pretty gender-friendly, so BBH doesn't mind carrying it, either.

I pack extra diapers, pull-ups, extra swim diapers, underwear, diaper cream, even more wipes, hand sanitizer, snacks (a couple of fruit snacks or granola bars, more healthy snacks and lunch foods I put in their lunch boxes), extra cash, mints/gum, Advil, thermometer & children's/infant's ibuprofen, one-extra outfit for each daughter, sippy cups, and Kleenex. For some other ideas on diaper packing success, check this post out.

4) Travel totes- Each of my girls have their own travel bag for the car. 

We bought a couple when they went majorly on sale a year or so ago. I usually pack them with their favorite books, special items like their favorite stuffed animal/baby doll, their lunch boxes, crayons, coloring books, small puzzles, lacing cards, Doodle pads, the girls’ leap pad tag with their books, etc. These totes stay in the back seat with them on the floor and we throw their toys and stuff back in their bags when they're done.

Some moms have suggested bringing small Dollar store (like Dollar Tree) toys to give to their kids at the beginning of each new hour as a reward for behaving well in the car. We haven't done this yet, but will be trying it out in the future!

5) Music and Electronics- Our kids love to sing along to music in the car. We have several kids' music cds and it's gotten to the point where they take turns asking for a specific cd to listen to, even if we're going somewhere local, like the grocery store. We also own a Kindlefire and love it. We've found all sorts of read-along books, and fun learning apps that the girls enjoy. We also have a couple of kid movies on it that Mini-me likes to watch.

6) Plenty of Bags- Bring extra plastic bags to wrap up soiled diapers, wet clothes, garbage…anything. Very helpful and I always feel like I need a few more while on road trips.

7) Food – On these road trips, our girls each have their own lunch boxes and we try to pack them with healthier foods like fruits, sandwiches, cheese, personal cereal boxes or their snack cups filled with goldfish crackers. Earlier this year I was at blessed Target and bought a couple of those Fit and Fresh tupperware for keeping fruit and cheese cold. They are awesome. 

We also love these:

Have you seen them before? They are great for toddlers. They are called Munchkin snack "catchers". Thank you, Munchkin. SO helpful and useful with our kids.

Our kids love easy GoGo Squeeze applesauce on our road trips, too! We love anything easy and somewhat mess free!

8) Potty basics- If you have potty-training toddlers like we do and know you’ll be on the road for a while, bring a portable potty, just in case you can’t get to a restroom fast enough. On our next trip, we will be bringing ours and keeping it in the trunk. We always make sure to have extra wipes, toilet paper, plastic garbage bags, underwear or pull-ups/diapers and a towel for accidents. 

Something we also bought when Mini-me started potty training was something called a piddle paddle. 

Such a life saver for ANY time we're in the car and even better during longer trips when it would be even more difficult to clean a car seat. 

9) Expect the unexpected –I've had to learn that tot melt-downs are bound to happen. We can always count on fewer naps. And even if things go somewhat smoothly most days of our vacation and we're able to follow our normal routine, there will a day (or even two) when things do not pan out exactly the way we like. 

But we survive. And we do it all over again. Because it is worth it.

The best lesson I have learned while vacationing with our kids is to savor the moments...

...like the first time we went on vacation to a beach house with Mini-me. It was amazing and so memorable for us as parents. Watching her curl her toes curiously in the sand and laugh while she jumped in the waves still makes me smile whenever I think of it. 

A year later we took both our sweet girls on a similar vacation to enjoy the same beach. We then watched as My-girl made the same wonderful discoveries. As she and I snuggled together while watching the waves dance on the shore, it made me realize more that time with them is precious and fleeting. 

And these are the moments I relish.

Fun Staycation with Your Kids: Via Hot Air Balloon

Vacation. Such a lovely word, right? Unfortunately, this word isn’t a part of everyone’s life dictionary. Sometimes, it just isn't in the budget. The good news is that you and your family (kiddos especially) can enjoy a bite sized part of what each country has to offer... all in the comfort of your own home. A STAYCATION is what you need! You can choose to have a weekly staycation over the course of the summer or you can have a monthly staycation over the course of the entire year! Not any ol’boring staycation, but one filled with yummy cultural treats, fun crafts, and wild imagination!

First, if you and the kiddos want to truly feel wild and free, you have to really commit.

THE COMMITMENT:

Time-Out

Get your family together and collect all of the clocks in your home! Make it a speed race! See who can collect the most! Stash them in a designated “time-out” box. Tuck the box away in the least visited closet.  You know, the one you dread to think about. The one that is in desperate need of an “organize-a-makeover.” Don’t forget to toss your watch in there while you’re at it! In doing so, you’ll toss away the stress of the daily grind. For you staycation, you’re no longer a prisoner to time!

THE PLAN

Plan your global route:

What better way to build up the anticipation than to plan your exact route around the world? And what better way to do so than with a little arts and crafts!

Here are two fun options:

Easy DIY World Globe

Here is a wonderful DIY tutorial I found online:

http://onecharmingparty.com/2012/04/11/earth-day-party-ideas-kids/

Or

Easy Antique World Map (that you find under the magical time-traveling tree in your backyard, perchance?)

National Geographic’s website offers great free map pintables! You get to choose how detailed they are prior to printing!

http://education.nationalgeographic.com/education/mapping/outline-map/?map=The_World&ar_a=1

After you print your map, color it with antique like faded colors (browns, light pinks, sea foam green) or if you don’t think your little one will be able to tell the countries apart, make it a bright and colorful antique map that is kid-friendly.  Once colored in, singe the edges with a lighter or candle. Drop some candle wax on it here and there. Write a secrete message on the back or corner of the map in a foreign language. Here’s an idea!

“If you have found this map you are special and will partake in great world adventures.”

In French:

“Si vous avez trouvé cette carte vous êtes spéciaux et participerez à de grandes aventures mondiales.”

Get out your red ink pen and draw out your preferred route! Label the destinations with the dates you will be traveling there.

Stuff that suit case!

Gather the little ones and pack all of the essentials: favorite blanky, favorite action figure, favorite stuffed bunny, etc. Packing is so simple when you’re not actually going anywhere! Oh, and definitely don’t forget to pack your furry friend’s pretend luggage too! You can let youngest be in charge of this important responsibility!

Safety First:

Traveling with kids can be a little scary. Here are some tips to make your staycation travels safe.

Imagine a world with no evil. No monsters. No crime. Just friendly people. Warm smiles everywhere you look. Safety: Check! Staycation rocks!
 

I TRAVEL BY WAY OF...

Decide (via majority vote) the best form of transportation. Some planning ahead could make this trip unforgettable! For hot air balloon traveling, buy a dozen or more (you’ve got to make an impact) helium balloons and curly gift ribbon (or string). Tie long strands of ribbon (let the balloons touch the ceiling) on the balloons and attach them to the outside edges of a large box (big enough to fit the crew) with tape.

Make sure you tie down your hot air balloon when you’re not actively traveling! You don’t want it to fly away without you! Each time you’re ready to hit your next destination, climb everyone on board, untie the safety knot weighing you down, and let the wind lead the way! (Other forms of travel include: jet ski, steam boat, submarine (the little mermaid might just join you), time traveling machine, camels’ backs, etc.)  

 

Sample Itinerary for Paris, France:

-Put on your berets. Board hot air balloon. Travel to Paris, France.

-Shout“bonjour” to the gigantic, spotted whale splashing in the blue ocean below and “à plus tard” to the majestic bald eagle flying by boldly to your right!  Visit the capital of every country you decide to visit. For every country, learn how to say “hello” and “good bye” in their language. Eat a country-appropriate meal and wear a country-appropriate hat! Adopt an imaginary pet, like an elephant or a penguin! Watch a foreign film classic!

-Sun-rise (no clocks or watches, remember?): Hot air balloon lands on the Eiffel tower (discuss the history of the Eiffel tower). You’re still so high off the ground! Good thing you brought your parachutes!  

(Make every meal a picnic!)

-Petit déjeuner (Breakfast) Picnic Options: Pain au chocolat (buttery pastry with melted chocolate swirled through out) or Croissant with butter and fresh jam with hot chocolate for dipping! Buy it or make it!

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/jacques-torres/croissants-pain-au-chocolat-pain-raisin-and-danish-recipe/index.html

-Learn “hello” and “good bye” in French: “bonjour”or “salut” and “au revoir”

Greet each other with new learned words!

-Déjeuner (Lunch) Picnic: Saucisson en croute (puff pastry wrapped sausage) Super easy!

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/food-network-kitchens/saucisson-en-croute-recipe/index.html

-Adopt a poodle! Name him! Groom him! Feed him!

-Dîner (Dinner): French onion soup with a fresh baguette

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/tyler-florence/french-onion-soup-recipe2/index.html

-Watch a kid friendly French film!

"La Belle et la Bete" (Beauty and the Beast) Directed by Jean Cocteau. “This is a live-action black and white adaptation of the French fairy tale. This film has a lush and beautiful art design and is easy to follow for children even though it is spoken in French and has English subtitles.” –screenjunkies.com

Listen to French music as you fall asleep. Whisper “bonuit” (goodnight) as you all snuggle comfortably in the living room, on the couch, in sleeping bags, on pillows and mattresses on the floor.

Travel back home in the morning!

When the time is right, and the budget is too, you’ll travel the world. For now, be close, be creative, and have fun!

 

Six Sunny-Day Diaper Bag Items

Fun in the sun…

When I was little- I remember my stay-at-home-mom taking full advantage of the Florida Sun year round planning activities for my brothers and I.  We went to parks, the springs, lakes,  you name it!  We basically lived at the beach.  And for awhile- we even had SEASON PASSES TO DISNEY WORLD!!!!

I mean- holy cow. Can there be anything cooler when you’re a kid?  Methinks not.

{My brothers and I covered in fake snakes at Animal Kingdom- looking appropriately terrified.}

{This is when I was older and I actually had to save-up to go to EPCOT, but Disney never gets old. I'm the one on the right and my friend Skye is on the left- plus there's another TETO author Mandi in the middle.  We are so cool. She better not take this down.}

Now as a mother of my own- I work.  I lament not being able to attend playdates at the zoo, the splashpad, someone’s backyard.  When summertime finally rolls around I find myself sunken into my “me-shape” on the sofa and unwilling to get up for more than the occasional food/potty/toddler-screaming-and-needs-chocolate-milk-now break.  I’m sure a lot of this has to do with having a newborn. (That’s what I tell myself anyway) but either way I still feel pretty bad. 

My poor little toddler is corralled in our apartment watching the 1123^rd episode of Sesame Street streaming on Netflix for the 1123^rd time.  (At least he gets all the graham crackers he can eat…right?!)

Anyhow- we HAVE managed to get out of the house one or two times.  With two kids I’m finding it’s becoming even more important to really be prepared. 

When Graham was a newborn, I did the typical first-time-mom thing and went ALL-OUT with his diaper bag.  (I’m talking like five receiving blankets…kind of ridiculous.) By the time he was 18 months we were usually pretty good with an extra diaper and a thing of wipes shoved into my purse. 

During my pregnancy I found things started to be a little more difficult.  The first time I’d walked around the pregnancy block I didn’t have a toddler.  It is a totally different game.  The first time you’re tired because you’ve never done this before.  It’s all new.  Every ache, every discomfort, every flutter- it’s a big deal! And it’s exauhsting.  The second time around I worried less about whether or not my feet were swollen, and more about whether or not Graham was getting his basic food groups 4/7 nights a week. I worried less about my pregnancy-induced eczema and more about squeezing in those bedtime stories.  The second time around it’s not only about the baby in your belly- but it’s about the baby outside your belly too.  That leaves a lot less “about” for you.

But I’m getting off-track.  The point I’m trying to make, is that when I got pregnant we started to emphasize the preparedness factor again.  I needed more water- and Graham would see me drinking so of course he needed a drink too.  I walked a little slower so grocery-runs took a little longer and we needed some fruit-snack gummies to keep him occupied.  It took a little more time to get out the door, but once we were out, everyone was a LOT more happy.

Now that Xander is here, we’ve switched from an over-the-shoulder diaper bag to a backpack.  It’s nothing fancy (just the free one we got at the hospital) but can I tell you what a LIFESAVER it is having both arms free?!  This is especially true if Hubby isn’t around and I need to carry both boys. Amazing.

Now when we’re out and about, there are a few things this mama wouldn’t want to be without.

(…that kind of rhymes. I’ll pretend I did it on purpose.)

Six Sunny-Day Diaper Bag Items

1.)    A Clean Sippy.

Graham isn’t too thrilled with sippy-cups anymore,  but it sure makes my life a whole lot easier.  We should probably try giving him a straw-cup of some kind instead, but the sippies are still working for now.

Sometimes if we know we are going somewhere (like church or Grandma’s) we will just bring an empty cup.  But this post is about fun in the sun- so let me tell you I would fill that bad-boy up with some good old fashioned water.  Water is WAY better at quenching thirst, not staining clothes, and not going nasty in the diaper bag if you accidentally leave it in there after your sunshine-filled-fun is over.  (I won’t judge!)

And let me remind you, Moms and Dads get thirsty too so it’s always a great idea to bring a big water bottle of your own.  I have frequently had one that served the main purpose of re-filling Graham’s cup and ended up taking a few swigs myself.

2.)    More Diapers! (and wipes)

I doubt I need to tell any mamas out there that it’s a good idea to always bring one or two more diapers than you think you’ll need.  In reality- you won’t need them. You really won’t.  BUT if you don’t bring them- your child will magically become the fountain of youth in his or her pants and you will end up with a soaked carseat and a soaking-wet screaming child.  I  hear it happens.
Also, some of us aren’t too great at re-stocking our diaper bags and it’s always great to have a buffer of some extra diapers from the last time in case you totally forget to grab some this time.

3.)    Extra clothes

Something I actually learned as a teacher before I was a mom- is that it’s always good to have an extra shirt (and pants if possible) for YOU… just in case.  A lot of moms use common sense to stick an extra onesie in the diaper bag for their baby, but I go ahead and throw a t-shirt in there for me too.  Babies aren’t the only ones getting covered in spit-up or soaked when there’s a diaper explosion.  Being out and about is bound to be WAY less stressful if you’re comfortable, and I don’t know about you, but NOT being wet and stinky is always a plus for me.

And while I’m throwing clothes in the diaper bag, I stick an outfit in there for my toddler too.  I usually go with something simple and light that won’t take up too much space and will “work” in any location. (So probably not footie pajamas.  Think tshirt and shorts.)

4.)    Hand Sanitizer

Baby wipes are fantastic at giving you a quick hand-wash if you’re grabbing lunch, but sometimes it’s nice to have that extra “sanitization” factor- especially if you’re somewhere like a theme park and your child has been hanging off of every hand-rail he or she can reach; after every weirdo under the sun has wiped their snotty fingers all over it.  (I speak as the girl who set her hand in a pool of fresh mucus while waiting in line for Buzz Lightyear many years ago.)  There are tons of cute little mini versions available so this shouldn’t take up too much space or be too inconvenient.  You can even buy a big one to keep at home for refills when your to-go size starts running low. 

5.)    Snacks

Ah. My favorite.  Snacks snacks snacks.  They will save your child from apparent-starvation, and you from apparent loss-of-sanity.  We like to just have a few mini Tupperware containers of different snacks to help switch things up.  I like to have a variety of sweet and salty and we try to go for more filling options.  (Graham crackers broken into fourths, Nilla Wafers, Goldfish crackers, club crackers, dry cereal, fruity marshmallows, pretzels, etc…)  Graham loves fruit gummies but I hate having to deal with the wrappers after he’s eaten them.  (Remember what I said about valuable real-estate? Every nook in that bag is precious!)

6.)    Sunscreen

I really have failed on this one.  But I have the best of intentions and I vow to be better!  When I was little- my mom would always slather us in sunscreen before we went to the beach.  And I had to keep on my shirt.  That was lame.  I hated it.  But now as an adult who can clearly see the horrific effects of skin cancer,  I am SO GLAD I was forced to be lame. 

While I’m great at sun-screening it up for Graham at the beach (Xander hasn’t been yet), I’d really like to get better about making sure he has it on anytime we are going to be outside for more than a dash from the car.  I feel like actually having it IN the diaper bag would make it a lot easier for me to remember.

I used to keep some Aveeno baby eczema lotion in the bag when Graham’s skin was breaking out, but he seems to be growing-out of his eczema (fingers crossed!) so I haven’t recently. (That’s valuable real-estate! Be prepared- but don’t carry more than you have to mama!)

{There are two of my elementary school friends looking way cool in their swimsuits on the beach and my brothers and I in our t-shirts on over our swimsuits. I had enough sunburns in my teens to leave me cowering under a blanket and umbrella when we go now though. My boys are lucky- Graham has some of those cool new sunscreen shirts and I'm totes jealous that we didn't have those.}

 So those are the essentials.  With a newborn I also add a spit-up cloth and a receiving blanket in addition to the regular baby blanket I keep in the carseat for a swaddle/nursing cover. 

Honorable Mention Items:

-Hair-ties/clips for mom!

-Pacifier (my boys don’t usually take one but we have it just in case)

-Socks for the kids (addresses blisters and/or chilly feet if you get wet and they are riding home in the A/C)

-Cell phone charger (Maybe it’s just because I’m addicted to technology, but everything goes a lot smoother if mom knows she isn’t going to be stranded somewhere with a dead cell phone.)

-Gripe Water/Baby Tylenol/Band-Aids/Other meds  (Holy goodness. Yes. Yes. Yes. This should probably actually go on the regular list. Gassy babies, unexpected teething, allergic reactions- these are all major fun-killers.  Your day out will end quickly or be incredibly miserable if you don’t have the necessary remedies.)

-A favorite toy (for entertaining during car rides, lines, etc… Don’t go overboard on the toys or bring a REAL favorite because it is entirely possible it will get lost and be gone forever.)

Ok this post is getting ridiculously long and it’s close to midnight so I’m off!  Thanks for dropping by, please come back and read the rest of our Fun in the Sun posts this week!

This pudding is bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

...If you didn't sing-spell the title of this post... you need to.

So- this week our topic is "Favorite Summer Recipes".
Somewhere between getting married and now- I was magically able to convince my husband to do 90% of the cooking in our house.  Don't ask for my secret because I really couldn't tell you.  It just happened.  And it's awesome.

Except... somehow along the way I also kind of forgot how to cook.  Use it or lose it or something like that.  Don't get me wrong- I CAN cook... it's just a lot harder/more stressful.  And uses up the parts of my brain I usually reserve for other things.  Like patience. And saying nice things.

When I do venture into the kitchen, it's usually to make something quick and easy- or for dessert.  Oh man... I DO love making desserts.  Brandon doesn't bake so I'm not a complete culinary waste.  Today I had originally thought to make deviled eggs. I love them.  They're easy. And they super tasty.  But the recipe I use is my mother's and basically one of those "mix these thing until it tastes right".  I thought long and hard about how to portray a taste on this blog and ultimately came-up empty handed.  So on to plan B.

Plan B was to make the dessert we happen to already have the ingredients for, so Banana Pudding with Vanilla Wafers it is!  (There's most likely some better/fancier name for this dessert but most of you probably already know what I'm talking about so it works.)

This is a pretty straight-forward process.
There are some variations here and there, but I'm telling you my way is the best way.


Step 1:
Assemble your ingredients.

Step 2:
Realize that you are making this post just in time because your toddler has nearly annihilated your vanilla wafer supply.  Also keep in mind that brand-name Nilla Wafers are the way to go- but if you have a two year old who loves "cookies"- this is not a very cost-effective option.

Step 3:
Line your dish with vanilla wafers...try to use as many of the non-broken ones as possible because it's fancier.  And we all know fancier is better.  I put the outside ones with the pretty "tops" facing the glass because it's nicer  to look at when you see them through the sides of the clear glass.

Step 6:  Cut up a banana (or two) and layer the bottom of your dish ( on top of the wafers) with the slices.  Think carefully about how big you want your banana pieces to be while you're eating your pudding later- and cut them the right width accordingly.  Also keep in mind that some people hate actual banana slices in their banana pudding and will not eat your dessert if you put them in.  This could be used to your advantage if you so choose...not that I would ever do that.

Step 5:   Mix up your instant banana pudding.  I use brand-name Jello pudding mix because it's awesome and worth the extra 3 cents or whatever.  I also get the bigger box because the little teeny ones are ridiculous.  Doesn't hurt to pretend your one of the witches from Hamlet while you're mixing it up.

Step 6:   Pour your pudding on top of the wafer/banana layers in your dish. Mmmmmm tasty.

Step 7:  Put your dish in the fridge so the pudding can finish solidifying and your wafers can soak up that banana goodness.  Then take another selfie in the kitchen because the interior your fridge is such a mess it should not be photographed.

Look at me! I made instant pudding! whooohooo!!!!

Step 8:  Cover with Reddi-Whip and enjoy while your two year old throws a temper tantrum on the kitchen floor behind you  because he wanted "cookies" for lunch.

Also I saw these  "Banana Caramel Creme Dessert" dishes on Pinterest and thought they looked so delicious.  I don't have caramel sauce or maybe I would have attempted this instead....but I'm pretty happy with my result. :)