Poop. There it is!

Freedom is a wonderful thing. The first time I felt true freedom was on a glorious day in the summer of 1996. I had just passed my driver’s license test and later that day, remember driving around in beautiful, sunny California, windows down, the wind blowing through my hair, while belting out the lyrics to the ever-so-popular Tag Team’s “Whoop...there it is”! Fast forward 17 years…my definition of freedom has slightly been altered. While I still love carelessly belting some of my fave songs of the 90’s, becoming a mom has changed up life’s lyrics a bit and I have become someone who now gets excited over shall we say, some of life’s simplest pleasures. Like, the first day my child “cooed”, or smiled, or gave me wet, sloppy kiss and of course, when she successfully used the potty.

It might sound silly to some, but for me, potty training is just another one of those laborious battles of parenthood, a battle that my little sweet pea and I have fought long and hard to overcome. And like my predecessor mamas who have bravely endured and successfully fought this battle, we can all harmoniously nod our heads in agreement that nothing smells sweeter than joining one other in a diaper-free utopia.

For those of you who have yet to embark upon this delightful adventure or who are perhaps struggling with it still, I say unto you all: There is hope, there IS light at the end of the tunnel and by golly, if you haven’t seen the potty-training light yet, there is always a new day called tomorrow.  And while I am no potty-training Yoda, I do have a few potty training tips from my Jedi-mama-in-potty-training days:

1) Be prepared for the worst… or the best. Whatever you think potty training may be, it’s probably not. It might be easy for you and your child or it might be rocket-science difficult. Mental and physical preparation is the key. Be prepared for your child to pee (or the alternative) in the middle of the day or night, maybe on the floor, in their undies, in their beds, etc., until they get it right. Be prepared with how you will react to it, too (it can be upsetting for the little ones when they make mistakes and they need to feel support). Like any new skill we are trying to teach or learn, practice makes perfect and preparation prior to that practice can make all the difference in alleviating more stress.

2)  A bribe (or two) is ok. I can almost see and hear moms giving me a look of horror and tsk-tsk-tsking at the word “bribe”. Some of you may call it “incentive”. I like to think of it as positive reinforcement. I’d be lying if I said I only “bribed” my child once or twice to get her to use the potty. Hey, I’m teaching creative negotiating 101 over here.  Am I guilty of encouraging an early chocolate or sticker addiction? Perhaps…but in the end, whether it’s the M&Ms or a sticker incentive, I definitely believe that rewarding my child and using positive reinforcement for good behavior and actions, like potty training, is ok in my book. Most importantly though, find out what works best for you and your child and use it.

3) The early bird doesn’t always get the worm. I don’t know why some of us feel the need to have “that” child. You know, the one who reads first, uses the potty first, the child who never ever has a tantrum, who eats all of his/her food at the dinner table, the child who has to be the “best”, etc.. Some of us feel the need  to rush our children to grow up fast and be ready for tasks that they might just not be ready for. Truth-be-told, I realized that no matter how much prodding, my daughter was ready when she was ready (what a novel idea)! For example, we started potty-training Mini-me when she was 18 months old, took a break, re-started, took another break, re-started and just when I wondered if there would ever be a day when she would be fully potty-trained, that wonderful, glorious day came. She was ready…and was a little over 2 ½ years old. And I was thrilled.

 4) Entertain them and learn to laugh about it. Ok, I have a confession. My home can sometimes be like a rock concert or like an episode of Glee. BBH and I are like wannabe rock/rap stars in our house. We are known for turning our normal conversations with each other or with our children into full-fledged musicals or raps. Odd, you say? I am telling you: It works. I don’t know if our daughters think we’re nuts, but they will stop whining about having to go to the potty, quit squirming though a diaper change and just stare at us and laugh. This comical havoc sidetracks them long enough to re-motivate the potty training or re-direct them to anything you want them to do. Aside from accepting the fact that we must look like utter lunatics, we’ve learned that being entertaining and learning to laugh about potty-training and other things in life, makes a house truly a home sweet home.

5) Relax and make peace with it. I think one of the hardest things for me, especially in the early stages of training my oldest daughter, was how easy it was to get caught up in the mind-set of “well, so-in-so’s child was potty-trained at 18 months, what are we doing wrong?” The valuable lesson I learned here? When I turned the focus away from my sweet daughter and focused on the negative or on others, I began to compare myself and mini-me and not appreciate where she came from and all of the progress she and I had made along the way. Taking a mommy time-out to relax, breathe, and re-assess the potty-training situation can really help remember these things.

All-in-all (and like their mama), my daughters dance to the beat of their own drum.  My job as their mom is to help them make sense of the notes, make some music, and dance along with them. And when your potty training battle is looking kind of poopy, take a deep breath, have a good laugh, pop an M&M, and just remember Tag Team’s song…There's a party over here, a party over there, wave your hands in the air, Shake your deriere! These three words when you're gettin' busy: POOP- there it is!